Balancing Affections
by the-human-error
Summary: Sakura has been kidnapped by Akatsuki to heal Itachi and Zetsu. In an attempt to find an escape, she plays their feelings against them, but can she avoid falling in love in the process? SakuraxAkatsuki SakxKakuzu SakxHidan SakxZetsu SakxKisame
1. First Contact

The first time Sakura was taken by Akatsuki was just within the border of Fire country.

She was on her way home from Suna, after completing a B rank mission, when Kakuzu and Hidan had ambushed her.

Kakuzu had engaged her, trapping her in tentacles of hair, and carried her back to their base still bound.

"Why the hell do you want me?" Sakura had demanded. "If you're trying to lure Naruto out, it wont work!" she had stated, even knowing it wasn't true.

"You're not a hostage, kunoichi," the masked man had replied, amusement heavy in his voice. "Leader wants you for your own skills."

At that, she had sagged, letting her head flop against his back. She was in for an interesting ride.

After two days of being dragged through the forest, with nothing to do but listen to Hidan whining at his partner, Sakura decided she'd at least try to amuse her self with the more talkative of her captors.

"Oi, Hidan? That's your name, right?" she addressed him, resting her elbows on Kakuzu's back, and cocking her head slightly.

"Huh? What the f*** do you want, b****?" he replied, a little surprised she talked to him at all.

"You're a Jashinist, right?" she confirmed. "Can you tell me about it?"

At this, a huge ear splitting grin spread across his face. This was the first time anyone had ever actually _asked_ him about Jashin.

"Thinking of converting?" he asked excitedly.

"No, I'm more curious than anything," she replied. "Besides, how could I want to convert to something I know nothing about?"

Hidan had spent the rest of the day explaining to Sakura the scriptures, his immortality, the purpose of sacrifices, etc...

The pinkette was actually surprised at how knowledgable he was on the subject – everyone seemed to describe this Akatsuki member as brawn over brain.

She had even gone as far as to argue with him about the basic values of his religion.

"How can you worship someone set on destruction? When even you yourself want (and have) immortal life. Shouldn't you be more focused on life than death?"

"I am Jashin-sama's messenger. I _bring_ the death and destruction. As a reward, he gives me everlasting life," Hidan explained, as if talking to a two year old.

"But if Jashin-sama values destruction and death, and thinks anything less is a sin, yet gave you _life, _isn't that a bit of a backhanded gift? He practically made you a sin personified in his own reasoning."

Hidan opened his mouth to respond, before closing it again, and looking away.

'What the hell?' he thought, a headache coming on.

At his silence, Kakuzu began to snigger. He had taken an interest in the conversation, although he didn't show it, and found it hilarious that Hidan had been cornered by his own words.

"I like you, little kunoichi," he found himself grinning behind his mask. "I hope Leader-sama doesn't kill you."

"Gee thanks," Sakura replied, rolling her eyes.

--

On arrival at the Akatsuki base, she was left with Hidan while Kakuzu went to report to their Leader.

"So, are you allowed to tell me why I'm here or not?" she asked tiredly.

"I'll leave that up to Leader," the albino replied carelessly. "So, you got a boyfriend in Konoha or what?"

"No," Sakura gave him a curious look. "I've sworn off guys."

"You're a lesbian? Shit!" Hidan's jaw dropped.

"No, you idiot!" she snapped, then laughed hysterically at the thought of her dating Ino, Hinata or Tenten. "I've sworn off love altogether. It doesn't seem to work for me."

"Oh, why's that?" Hidan moved closer to her, eying her up and down. "I'd imagine you'd have a whole lot of boys chasing you around."

"Yeah, but they're all perverts," she snorted, glaring at him.

"And you're a prude?"

"You-! Shut up, you jackass!" she swore, once again trying to break the ropes around her wrists and ankles. "You just wait 'til I get my hands on you!"

"Babe, I'd love your hands on me," he grinned at her, making her let out a chain of swear words even he didn't know.

Kakuzu once again joined the duo, giving an amused smirk at the words still spilling out of the pinkette.

"Five minutes alone, and you've already corrupted her," he accused his partner.

"Hey, don't blame me!" Hidan shot back. "She's got a worse mouth on her than me."

"Sakura-chan, you will be staying with me," Kakuzu informed her, lifting her over his shoulder, and walking out of the room, once again ignoring his partner.

--

Once the masked man dumped her oh his bed, he reached down with a kunai, and cut off the ropes that kept her bound.

"I advise you not to try to escape," he told her coldly. "You are surrounded my S classed criminals. Leader-sama has given me permission to disclose your purpose. You are to examine Itachi's eyes, and find the source of Zetsu's fevers, and heal them both. If you refuse, we will kill your friends, starting with the weakest. A girl named Yamanaka Ino is first on the list."

"Damn it," she cussed, before looking once again to Kakuzu. "Who is this 'Zetsu'?"

"An ex-Grass nin and cannibal," he smirked cruelly. "I'd avoid pissing him off if I were you."

"Right, of course," she rolled her eyes. "I should have guessed there'd be at least one member of Akatsuki that ate babies for breakfast. How cliché."

"...You're an odd one," Kakuzu felt himself smile behind his mask.

"Well, if I was your average girl, I wouldn't be here, now would I?" she asked sarcastically. "Did your 'leader' ever consider the possibility that I wouldn't be able to heal your friends? I can't fix _everything, _you know."

"You are the best medic in five countries. We have confidence in your abilities," Kakuzu informed her. "And if you can't help them – there is no cure."

Sakura sighed dejectedly, a tired smile on her face. "I suppose this is what you get for being famous, right? When do I meet my patients?"

"Tomorrow," Kakuzu answered, pleased she was being so agreeable. "In the mean time, you are under my guard."

She nodded, and slumped against the wall, and stared at her captor.

"So," she spoke, after a while. "Akatsuki, huh?"

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"Why'd you join?" she asked, curious.

"Pays well," he shrugged. "Not to mention it makes it easy to hunt down bounties."

"So you're a bounty hunter, eh?" she asked with interest. "How long have you been in that game?"

"Long enough," he replied shortly. Kakuzu hated questions that related at all to his age.

"Must be an interesting life," the pinkette sighed, looking him up and down. "So what are you hiding under that mask?"

"My face," he snapped. "What's with all the questions?"

"Just trying to make conversation," she shrugged. "It's not like you _have _to answer. Or you could ask a few of your own."

After another couple of minutes silence, he decided to take her up on the offer.

"Is your hair naturally pink?" he asked out of the blue.

Sakura blinked a couple of times before answering.

"Yep. I'm told my grandmother had pink hair, too, but it's not very common, even in my family," she answered. "You like hair, ne? Is that what those threads you caught me in were? Hair?"

He nodded, and slowly removed his mask, revealing a stitched jawline. Letting the stitches loosen, he allowed his jaw to sag, and a mouthful of living hair creep out.

Eyes wide, Sakura leaned forwards to get a better look. Slowly, she raised a hand to comb her fingers through it, smiling a little as the threads curled around her wrist.

"You're a pretty amazing guy, Kakuzu. I've never seen anything like it," she admitted, staring unashamedly as he sucked the hair back into his mouth, and tightened his stitches. "How does it work? It came out of your arms before, right?"

Nodding, Kakuzu lifted up his sleeve, to reveal more stitches, and circular tattoos.

"It's all through my body. Packed in and controlled by chakra," he explained vaguely.

Holding his arm in her lap, Sakura reached out to touch the tattoos wrapped around his forearms.

"This is a mark from the Waterfall prisons, right?" she asked, again curious about the life of the man before her.

"Yes," he answered, reclaiming his arm, and pulling his coat sleeve back down. "You've been to Waterfall."

"Yes, a mission took us to help out the leader of the village there," she smiled at the memory. "They're an interesting bunch. Not very trusting of outsiders. Nice area, though."

Kakuzu shrugged. "I haven't been there in years."

Feeling a change of subject might be a good idea, she dropped that line of conversation.

"You've got interesting eyes. Kekkei genkai?" she asked curiously.

"Hereditary, but they don't have any abilities like sharingan or byakugan," he explained. "You've spent your whole life in Konoha?"

"Mostly," she agreed. "Except for missions, I've spent most of my time there. I lived in Suna for half a year on an exchange program, but I couldn't call it home. I belong in Konoha."

Kakuzu nodded absently.

"Were your family ninja? I haven't heard of any other Haruno's," Kakuzu pressed.

"No, my family has been made up out of merchants for years. I'm the first Haruno ninja ever," she explained a little proudly.

"What made you want to be a kunoichi?" he asked, curiosity growing by the minute.

"It seemed like a fun, adventurous kind of thing to do when I was little," she sighed a little sadly. "I wanted to be able to defend myself. That, and I was trying to impress a boy."

"A fine reason to decide your career," Kakuzu snorted in amusement.

"Yeah, well, I'm not too bad at it," she shrugged. "I like being a shinobi, even if it gets me kidnapped."

"What happened to the boy?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"He broke my heart," she answered dejectedly. "But that's what you get for giving it away, ne?"

Kakuzu's other eyebrow joined his first in an expression of surprise.

"You're surprisingly open with your enemies," he noted.

"Meh. It's not as though I'm giving away any secrets. Everything I've told you is public knowledge," she shrugged. "You could find it all out yourself with minimal effort."

He reached forward and gripped her chin, tilting it from side to side to get a better look at her features.

"Ka-kuzu?" she asked, a little freaked out.

Brushing his knuckles across her cheek, her pulled away.

"I like you Sakura-chan. I'll do my best to keep you safe," he told her, pulling his mask up once again to cover his face. "I'm off to tell Leader-sama you will cooperate. Stay put."

The pinkette nodded hesitantly, and watched him leave the room, closing (but not locking) the door behind him.

**'Escape?' **thought Inner Sakura half heartedly.

'No way. You heard what he said – we couldn't beat Kakuzu and Hidan alone, what makes you think we could get past even more S class criminals in their own territory?'

**'Looks like we're stuck here 'til they let us go then.'**

'Or until we're rescued.'

**'We can't let our friends come after us. It's too dangerous.'**

'So we'll have to escape eventually – there's no way I'm healing Uchiha's eyes.'

Sakura lay down on the bed, and stretched her arms, before letting them rest across her torso.

'We'll just have to stall, and wait for a more opportune moment.'

**'Kakuzu seems to like us. And Hidan. Maybe if we befriend them, they'll let their guard down and we can leave.'**

'...That's an idea, alright. But what if somehow someone from Konoha sneaks in and spies me playing nice with the enemy?'

**'We'll just have to be careful.'**

Sakura let out another sigh, and rolled onto her side, and drifted into a light dose.

--

Sakura became alert at the sound of footsteps approaching her door, but didn't move.

Kakuzu entered, and stared at her for a minute.

"Yo," she broke the awkward silence.

"You look comfortable," he mused, closing the door behind him.

"What've you got there? A bedroll?" she sat up, trying to get a better look.

"And a sleeping bag," he tossed them at her. "You're on my bed. I didn't think you'd want to share," he added sarcastically.

"Thanks," she said softly, hugging the bedroll to her. "You know, for a criminal, you're not so bad."

"Heh, really?" he raised a brow at her. "Perhaps you haven't known me for long enough."

"Well, you haven't tried to torture or rape me yet, so you're better than most other criminals I've come across."

Kakuzu froze, then stalked closer to her, staring into her eyes seriously.

"Someone raped you?" he asked, his voice chilling.

"They tried," she shrugged. "Got castrated for it though," she added with a smirk.

"Good," he replied, straightening up.

"What, you jealous?" she teased him, a light dancing in her eyes.

He just glared at her.

"Hey, lighten up, Ragdoll," she smiled at him softly.

"Why are you so comfortable here? Shouldn't you be concerned or crying, or at least _wary?_" he frowned at her.

"I don't have much choice. I have to be here," she stared at the ceiling. "I doubt you'll try to kill me, since you just told me Akatsuki needs me to heal two members. And if you tried anything, I could always stomp on the floor and bring the building down around both of us. Besides, you don't seem so bad, so why should I try making myself miserable?"

"Have you forgotten I'm your enemy?" he leaned closer, so she could feel his breath through his mask on her.

"I don't like closing doors. Gaara was once my enemy, now he's a trusted friend and ally, along with the rest of Sand," she pointed out. "You've already told me you like me, and promised to at least try to ensure my safety. Chances are, we might be friends one day too."

He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Even though I'm part of Akatsuki, and therefore after one of your team mates?" he leaned in further, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Akatsuki is after Naruto. You're only in it for the money, right?" she grinned at him, eyes dancing in amusement and anticipation. "Who's to say you'll always be a part of Akatsuki? Orochimaru left and is doing well, considering. A better opportunity might arise – who knows?"

"Are you questioning my loyalty?" his eyes narrowed into slits.

"No, I already know where your loyalty lies," she reached up, and tugged his mask down. "You're only loyal to yourself, Ragdoll."

Kakuzu stiffened once again, and tore away from her, leaving his mask in her hands. He stomped across the room, and tore his hood off violently, angry with himself. How could he let himself be read this easily?

"If that's true, what would stop me from turning on you? I might just kill you to get your bounty. Rock Country has 2 million yen on your head right now," he spat.

To his surprise, she just laughed.

"Kakuzu, seriously! The worst that could happen, is you kill me. If I'm dead, I won't care too much if you turn my head in or not. If you betray me and I live, it's not like I haven't been betrayed before, and by someone much closer to me – I can handle it. And the best that could happen, is we become allies. It's not a hard choice," she laughed in amusement.

The missing nin stared at her, disbelieving.

"You're not afraid of dying, are you?" he asked in wonder.

"Everyone dies one day," she sighed. "It's what you do while you're alive that counts."

Kakuzu wondered at that, staring at the loose floorboard that hid his stash of money.

"Hey, Kakuzu!" Sakura called, after a minute of silence. "How do I look?"

He turned around, and nearly burst out laughing at what he saw.

"What are you doing?" he asked with a lop sided grin.

"Trying on your mask," she stated, then glared at him comically. "What do you think, do I look like you?"

He walked over to her, and pulled the mask off her face, staring down at her in wonder. No one acted like this around him. Heck every girl he'd met in the last hundred years had been terrified of him. Making a decision, he wrapped an arm loosely around her, giving her enough room to escape if she wanted, and rested his chin on the crown of her head.

"You'll never look like me with hair like that," he answered, amused at her antics. "...You really are something else."

"Heheh, so I've been told," she shot back, leaning into him slightly, but on full alert. "Mainly by you."

**'Alert! Alert! He's hugging us!'**

'I know, Inner... Who would've thought eh?'

**'What do we do?!'**

'Play along and hope for the best? He might just be our ticket outta here.'

Ignoring her inner turmoil, Sakura let a smile play on her lips.

"This isn't an attempt to seduce me, is it?" she teased him.

"Depends: is it working?" he retorted sarcastically.

"I think I'll be sticking to my bedroll, sorry," she laughed freely.

"Well," he sighed dramatically. "Let me know if you ever want to share a softer mattress."

Letting her go, he ruffled her hair, and picked up the bedroll, and began to untie it.

Following suit, Sakura pulled the draw string on her sleeping bag bag, and pulled the thick material out.

It took them less than a minute to set her makeshift bed up, and then they had nothing to do but stare at each other awkwardly.

"You hungry?" Kakuzu asked her, feeling his own stomach growl.

"Hell yeah! You're gonna get me some food?" she asked hopefully.

"Better – come with me and I'll take you to the kitchens," he offered his hand to help her up.

A huge grin spread across her face, and instead of taking his hand, she launched a hug at him, before almost dragging him out of the room.

**'Step one: Get out of the room. Step two: find an exit.'**

Pausing at the door, she looked up to her guide expectantly.

"Which way, boss?" she asked cheekily.

Allowing a smirk to deign his stitched lips, he placed a hand on her shoulder, and steered her to the left and down the hallway.


	2. No strings?

Disclaimer: I'm living off a student loan. There's no way I own something as awesome as Naruto.

--

The Akatsuki base was a confusing series of hallways that made literally no sense. If Sakura ever found the architect, she swore she'd kill him.

After what seemed like an age (but in reality was more like two minutes), they finally reached the kitchen.

"Isn't there a shorter way?" Sakura whined, reminding Kakuzu with a shudder of his partner.

"Yes, but I thought I'd take you on a tiki-tour," he teased her. "Besides, we can't have you knowing your way around just yet. Just because I think you're cute doesn't mean I trust you."

"But it's not a real tour unless you point out the nearest exits," the pinkette prodded him. "You know, in case of fire."

"If it was a real tour, I'd also charge you for it," Kakuzu grinned widely, enjoying the playful banter. "And if there was a fire, we'd just have Kisame flood the place."

"Kisame's here? He's Itachi's partner, isn't he?" Sakura muttered, mainly to herself.

"That's right. You haven't met them before?" the bounty hunter asked. "They've had several run ins with Konoha."

"I'm the only member of my team that hasn't met them. I was being trained by Tsunade at the time," Sakura answered. "I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

"It's probably a good thing," the older man answered, giving her a sideways look, as he led her over to the fridge. "Why would you think otherwise?"

"It might have made me stronger," she sighed, and looked away, a little embarrassed. "I still couldn't beat you, after all."

"No one else has, so far either," he reminded her, straightening up to look at her.

They just stared at each other for a while, before one of Kakuzu's earlier comments caught up with her.

"You think I'm cute?" Sakura asked him, a small smile playing at her lips.

Wishing like hell he'd picked up his mask before coming, Kakuzu spun around and buried his head in the fridge.

"Would you like eggs, rice, or a sandwich?" he asked quickly, damning the blush that engulfed his face as he heard her giggle.

"Hey, if you're gonna make it for me, I'll take whatevers on offer, Ragdoll," she grinned largely.

Inner Sakura, on the other hand, was having a minor (alright, major) meltdown.

**'He has a crush on us!' **she cried in mortification. **'An S-class criminal FREAK with stitches has a crush on us! Kill me now!'**

'Shut up, Inner!' Sakura growled at herself. 'He could be our escape route! And he really _isn't _that bad, as far as criminals go.'

**'But he's _stingy._' **Inner Sakura cried. **'And, and not Sasuke-kun.'**

Sakura felt her insides freeze.

'Forget Sasuke,' she warned herself coldly. 'He left us. We promised ourselves yo get over him.'

**'I'm sorry... I know. I just miss hi-WAH! Look alive! Ragdoll alert, 5 o'clock!'**

Blinking, Sakura focused on the face in front of hers. Particularly a pair of green on red eyes, narrowed in a suspicious glare.

"You alright?" Kakuzu asked her, placing the back or his hand to her forehead, which was burning with embarrassment.

"Ye-yeah," she blushed. "J-just a headache is all."

"Then why are you burning up?" he asked bluntly.

Sakura started, realizing she'd mistaken his expression as a glare, when in reality it was... concern?

"Well..." she trailed off. "Maybe I'm embarrassed?"

"And why is that?" he asked quizically, removing his hand, but leaving his face within an inch of hers.

"Well, maybe it's because I tuned out, and when I tuned back in I have this guy right in my face?" she snapped, blush returning tenfold.

Kakuzu took a couple steps back, to give her some room, and smirked at her.

"How do you want your eggs?"

--

Kisame walked in on an interesting sight. For the first time _ever_, he witnessed Kakuzu – _the _Kakuzu – the one and only stingy 'money whore' (in Hidan's words) Kakuzu of the Akatsuki, who _never_ shared _anything – _dishing out freshly cooked eggs on toast to a young pink haired girl.

"Do my eyes deceive me?" he asked dramatically, blinking a few times. "Kakuzu being _nice_."

Kakuzu shot him an annoyed glance, before sitting down next to their 'guest', and digging in to his own eggs on toast.

"You must be Hoshigaki Kisame," Sakura nodded to him in greeting, her mouth twitching up at the corners.

"How could you tell?" he grinned, and sat down opposite them. "And you're Haruno Sakura. I didn't expect you to be so calm." At this, he tilted his head in curiosity. "I heard you had a temper."

"Would you rather I started punching holes in the walls?" she asked sarcastically.

"Please don't," Kakuzu paused his eating. "I don't want to have to work repairs into the budget."

Sakura giggled, and gave him a cheeky smile. "Then as a thank you for the food, I promise I'll try to avoid damaging anything while I'm here, just for you, Ragdoll."

"Ragdoll?" Kisame sniggered, making Kakuzu's eyebrow twitch.

"Got a problem, Gills?" Sakura asked innocently.

"We might do, if you keep calling me that," the ex-mist nin replied with a wide, sharp toothed grin.

"Intimidation doesn't work on this one," Kakuzu advised, giving her hand a squeeze under the table.

**'What the hell was that?!'**

Ignoring her inner voice, Sakura gave him a tight smile, and he let go of her hand.

"Really now?" Kisame continued the conversation, completely missing their discomfort. "Well, Sakura-chan, what do you think of Akatsuki so far?"

"I should have taken a vacation here years ago," she snapped, glaring at him.

"Hey, there's no need for that," Kisame held his hands up in defense. "I was just trying to make conversation."

Remembering something, Sakura locked eyes with the blue-skinned man.

"You were one of the Seven Swordsmen, right?" she asked, eying Samehada on his back.

"Ye-Yeah, what's it to you?" he asked, a little surprised at the question.

"I met Zabuza once. Years ago," she explained, eyes dimming with sadness. "I've always kind of wondered about the other six."

"Zabuza, huh? Haven't thought about him in years," Kisame stretched, scratching the back of his head. "Whatever happened to him?"

"He died an honorable death," Sakura stared at the remnants of her dinner. "I helped bury him and his companion, Haku in Wave Country."

"Haku, the Ice kid, right? Yeah, I remember him," Kisame sighed, watching her curiously. "How exactly did Zabuza die an honorable death? It doesn't really sound like the 'demon of the Mist' that I knew."

Sakura smiled at that, and re-told the story, play by play to her attentive audience of two.

--

When she had finished, both Kakuzu and Kisame were silent for a moment.

"I never would have imagined Zabuza-san to go out like that," the other swordsman sighed, leaning back in a stretch. "But it sure sounds like him. You're a good story teller, Haruno-san."

"I'd also be interested in how you took out Sasori," Kakuzu remarked, edging a little closer.

Sakura watched him warily.

"I think the two of you owe me a story," she raised an eyebrow at them. "Then maybe I'll tell you."

"That's right, you _did _take out Sasori, didn't you?" Kisame laughed, giving her a strange look. "You've got a habit of taking out my colleagues, now don't you?"

Sakura's eye twitched as she felt something brush her thy, and looked down to glare at the hand resting on it.

"This one might be next, unless he learns to keep his hands to himself," she growled, turning her glare to Kakuzu's face, which turned bright red.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he snapped, reclaiming his appendage. He folded his arms on top of the table (where they'd be visible to all), and looked stubbornly in the other direction.

Kisame's grin seemed to stretch to the width of his face, as he looked between the two.

"So, Sakura-_chan,_" Kisame stressed the familiar term. "Would you like to hear about one of my battles?"

"Could you tell me more about the coup in Mist?" she begged. "I've only heard the really brief version."

All through his tale, Kisame flirted shamelessly with Sakura, just trying to get a rise out of Kakuzu (whose only response was a glare that intensified by the minute). Sakura, he had an odd feeling, was very aware of what was going on, and made no move to stop it. By the end of his story, his curiosity got the best of him.

"So, Sakura-chan," he gave her a charming smile. "You got any boyfriends back home?"

Sakura's eyes widened in alarm at this.

"What, are you all girl-starved or something?" she gave him an odd look. "Hidan asked me the same question."

"He did?" Kakuzu whipped his head around to give her an intense stare.

"Yeah, right before he asked me if I was a lesbian," she winced.

"So that's a 'no' to the boyfriend question then," Kisame nodded, then remembered something. "Is it because of that Sasuke-kid?"

"How would you like it if I started asking about _your_ love life?" she hissed bitterly, eyes narrowing as the blue man snorted in amusement.

"How many dates do you think me or Kakuzu here get with faces like these?" he asked sarcastically.

Sakura suddenly felt awful. They'd likely never even _had_ a girl look twice at them (which might explain Kakuzu's boundary issues – and it wasn't like he'd done anything _really_ bad or anything). And here she was messing with them.

**'That's what they get for kidnapping you against your will,' **Inner Sakura reminded her, easing her guilt. **'Besides, they're S-class criminals, and grown men. They can handle it.'**

'I guess,' she sighed mentally. 'Still, I want to show them kindness. What if they change, like Gaara.'

"What's that got to do with anything?" she asked with a frown. "Do you only try picking up shallow girls, or something?"

"There's not much of an opportunity to 'pick up chicks' when you're a missing nin," Kakuzu reminded her, with an amused smirk. "Perhaps we are 'girl starved', as you said earlier."

"How did we even get into this conversation?" Sakura whined, red faced. "Oh yeah, it was Kisame's fault." She glared at the blue skinned man, who just laughed.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and Hidan rushed in, holding a book, and plopped himself down next to Kisame, across from Sakura and Kakuzu.

"Hey Pinky! I found the answer to your question earlier," he grinned, flipping through the pages of his worn book, and slammed it down in front of her. "See? This is the Holy Book of Jashin. Read here."

"Chaos and destruction are what is pleasing to the Lord. Those whose existence is chaos, and who spread destruction, those who make sacrifices of blood in the name of Jashin will be given the blessing to make their chaos last forever," Sakura read, then looked up at the smirking Hidan.

"See, I knew it would be in there somewhere," the albino laughed loudly. "Do you want to convert now? You could even become my wife, and we'll f***ing serve Jashin together for the rest of eternity."

"Aren't religious men supposed to be celibate or something?" Kakuzu glared at his partner.

"What kind of a pansy religion are you thinking of?" Hidan spat back at him. "Jashinism is awesome, why would we go do something stupid like become celibate? I just need a good Jashinist woman. So, what do you say, Pinky?"

**'Help!' **Inner Sakura cried, staring in horror at the zealot, who was looking at her expectantly. **'And don't offend him! If he's immortal, he'll be hell to take down.'**

"Hidan... just one more thing confuses me," she started sweetly. "Maybe you could clear this up, before I agree to run off and have little psychopathic children with you."

"Anything, babe. As away," Hidan grinned at the thought of an army of scythe wielding children.

"Well, the only way for there to be absolutely no chance of chaos, is if there was only one mind, or one will, right? Because then there'd be no potential for disagreement, or a clash of wills," Sakura spoke slowly, making sure he absorbed the point.

"...Yeah, I suppose so," he agreed, motioning for her to continue.

"So if there's two minds, there's the possibility or disagreement and the potential for chaos," she explained. "And if you added another mind, with a completely different world view, there'd be a higher chance of disagreement."

"Yeah," Hidan scratched his head. "Where are you going with this?"

"Well, if the more minds, or the more people you have, the higher the potential is to get chaos, then why would you kill anyone, thus bringing down the likelihood of anything chaotic happening? Chaos exists in life and unpredictability. Destruction is the exact opposite. How can both be pleasing to Jashin-sama, and how can you bring both chaos and destruction at the same time? Am I missing something? Because it doesn't make sense to me."

The room sunk into silence for a moment, while waiting for Hidan's response.

"... ... ...I'll get back to you on that," he answered, after a while, picking up his book and leaving quietly.

Both Kisame and Kakuzu stared at her for a while longer, before Kisame burst out laughing, and Kakuzu started to grin maliciously.

"Why did I never think of this earlier," the stitched man sniggered. "This is the longest he's _ever_ stayed out of my hair."

"Well, there's a lot of it to get tangled in," Sakura teased mildly, giving him a small smile.

"I've never seen him that quiet," gaffawed Kisame. "Sakura, I hope you never leave."

The thought gave Sakura a pang in her heart, and she looked away sadly.

"You idiot," Kakuzu hissed at him.

"Hey, all I'm saying is I think you'd be a good addition to Akatsuki. We don't have a medic," he looked her up and down. "And Orochimaru's spot is still open, if you can get hold of his ring."

"I'm not joining Akatsuki! You want to kill my best friend!" she shouted, slamming her fist down on the table.

"Not necessarily kill," Kisame corrected her, leaning in closely. "Just extract the nine-tails. Your lot somehow brought the Kazekage back, right? Couldn't you do it for your foxy friend, too?"

"It takes a life to save a life, when you're that far gone," Sakura scowled. "A brilliant woman sacrificed her life to save Gaara, and I'm the only one left who knows how to do that particular technique. If Naruto was to live through that, I would die, and there'd be no way to be sure if he'd actually survive."

Kisame looked away awkwardly. He didn't know _that._

"What are you even thinking, extracting the bijuu? They're sealed for a reason," she scowled.

"I _know_ what the demons are like. In case you hadn't noticed, I've got the three tailed shark inside me," Kisame frowned back at her.

"Then why? Aren't they going to extract yours too?" she stared at him in disbelief.

Kisame scowled down at the table.

"Kisame," Sakura groaned in frustration. "Are you really going to give up your demon _and _your life to someone else? If someone _somehow_ manages to actually gain control of them, it will mean a dictatorship of the entire world. _Anyone_ who wants power in this way – it'll turn into a similar situation to Mist, the very kind of government you were trying to overthrow! And if they fail, and if the bijuu break loose, you _know _their power. It will be the end of the world."

Kisame's scowl intensified, and he refused to look at her.

"You're a very intelligent girl, Sakura-san," he told her, before standing up slowly. "If you ever get bored of your _Ragdoll,_ come visit me."

He left with a wave over his shoulder, and closed the door behind him.

Sakura sighed, and looked to Kakuzu, who was just watching her quietly.

"You make interesting points," he spoke, after a while. "But one wonders how much is truth, and how much you're just stirring the pot."

"If you don't stir things every now and again, it starts to burn," she answered tiredly. "Everything needs to be questioned and tested before you give it your undying loyalty. Or it all just goes to crap."

"Come, it's getting late," Kakuzu offered her his hand, and she took it, reluctantly.

--

"Kakuzu..." Sakura spoke hesitantly, after they'd both gotten in their respective beds.

"What?" he answered her tiredly.

"I don't... What I'm saying is, I'm not trying to lead you on or anything," she half-lied. "I mean, I like you and all, but... Do you know what I'm trying to say?"

"I can honestly say," he replied, a little annoyed. "That I have absolutely no clue what you're on about."

Sakura sighed heavily.

"But I would like to know," he began again. "Why it is you snapped at me earlier, when I touched you. You didn't mind it before."

**'Gah! How dense is he?!' **Inner Sakura ranted. **'That's what you were just talking about!'**

'He's a guy, Inner. We're going to have to spell it out for him,' she groaned mentally.

"Look, I like you, Kakuzu. But Akatsuki is Konoha's enemy. And while I don't mind getting along with you and whatever, _that _was a bit much," she said, embarrassed.

"...You're not making any sense," Kakuzu said roughly, irritation growing. "I still don't know where we stand."

Sakura let out a low growl.

"Look, it's just too much, okay. Keep your hands _away_ from my thighs, ass, breasts, and anywhere that might be considered a 'grey' area," she snapped. "I didn't mind before, because you weren't trying to feel me up when you were hugging me."

"I wasn't trying to-" Kakuzu sat up angrily, and glared at her in the darkness. "What kind of a low class pervert do you take me for?"

"Well what _were _you doing?" she spat back, feeling a little afraid.

"I was-" he paused to calm down, and started again, much calmer. "I was trying to remind you of my promise. That I'd keep you safe... Most people are scared of Kisame, when they first meet him."

Sakura felt like an idiot.

He had been trying to comfort her, and she'd snapped at him, threatened him, and accused him of being a perv. No wonder he was pissy.

"I should have known you'd be different," he continued. "Most people are scared of me, as well."

Sakura stood up, still in her sleeping back, and shuffled over to Kakuzu, sitting down next to him on his bed.

"I'm sorry, Ragdoll," she whispered to him, leaning on his shoulder lightly. "I made an ass out of myself just now, didn't I?"

He hesitantly put his arm around her, keeping it loose around her shoulders.

"Most guys I've come across just go straight for the merchandise, you know?" she sighed. "I should have known you'd be different, too."

Kakuzu tightened his embrace, and rested his head against her own.

"I wont lie, Sakura. I want you," he told her quietly, frowning as she stiffened. "All of you, not just your body. I am a patient man, Sakura-chan. But I am also a very possessive one. I wont share you with Kisame, Hidan, or anyone."

**'We're really in it now, Sakura-chan,' **Inner Sakura groaned.

"I'm not a thing, Kakuzu, I'm a person," she moved, to look up into his eyes, which were almost glowing in the dark. "You can't 'have' me, like a possession. And not only would a relationship be _extremely _difficult since we're on opposite sides, but I doubt I'd be ready for anything like that anyway."

"A relationship would be difficult... but possible?" he quipped.

"No." she shot him down, pronouncing the full stop. "Not while you're an enemy. The same goes for everyone else. And even if we were allies, I don't know if it would work anyway."

"Why is that?" he asked, his voice sounding dangerous.

'Because I'm crazy? Because _you're_ crazy? Because this entire situation is crazy??' she thought to herself.

"...Because... I don't know if I _can_ love someone again," she admitted honestly. "I can get along with people, and be friends, but... I don't think I can bring myself to love like that again. I'm broken, Kakuzu. You don't want me."

Kakuzu felt all five of his hearts twinge.

"If you're broken, let me stitch you back together," he whispered, bringing his face within an inch of hers. "I told you, I can be patient."

Sakura shook her head lightly.

"Please, this is just too much for me," she begged. "We don't even know what your Leader will do with me. Can't we just... get along, no strings, and see what happens?"

"...You can actually say 'no strings' while looking at me?" Kakuzu tried for humour, even though he was feeling like the pits.

But it worked. Sakura giggled lightly.

"Fine," he sighed. "We can do it your way for now. Now get back in your own bed, I want some sleep."

Grinning at his scowl, she gave him a quick hug, and hopped her sleeping bag back over to her bed roll.

**'Well, _that_ was awkward!'**

'I think I'm out of immediate danger,' Sakura sighed to herself quietly.

**'Freakin' stupid _nice_ Akatsuki. Bringing out our secrets,' **Inner Sakura muttered.

'Shut up, I want sleep. We have to check out Uchiha and Zetsu tomorrow.'

**'Today, it's past midnight.'**

Sakura gave another mental groan, and drifted off to a light sleep.

--

Authors Notes:

Thanks for the reviews guys :)

I'll apologise in advance, I'm notoriously bad at updating, (and I have a major assignment due SOON) but I wrote this whole chapter just for you (and as an excuse to procrastinate) ;D

Seriously, if you have any ideas/requests I'll do my best to work them in. I have a vague Idea where this going, but my ideas usually bite me in the ass, and change completely.

Please tell me, who should Sakura end up with? Choices are: Kakuzu, Kisame, A non-Jashinist Hidan, or Zetsu (you'll meet him next chapter. Promise)

Thanks again!!


	3. Omnivouris

Ah! Another chapter! Don't expect any more for at least a week, as I'm not allowed to procrastinate any more - assignments is almost DUE dammit!

AND I have to prepare for the invisible children protest on the 25th (visit or get killed by child soldiers)

On with the show!

---

Sakura sat, staring at her two patients. Itachi, she wasn't too surprised at. But Zetsu?

**'... He has a plant on his head...'**

'Technically, it's on his shoulders, Inner.'

**'He has a PLANT on his shoulders...'**

'It would appear so.'

**'How the heck do we diagnose him? Is he plant or man?'**

'We'll just check his system like everyone else, I guess.'

**'Let's do Itachi first.'**

'Deal,' Sakura agreed with herself in relief.

"Uchiha-san, please sit on the chair in front of me," she addressed him, giving Zetsu an apologetic smile. "Zetsu-san, I will get to you in a minute."

Her patients obeyed, and Sakura finally got down to business.

"Close your left eye, and read that eye chart," she pointed to the wall.

"Ka, sa, me, ku, to, n, ga, se, ro, ... o, ... te-"

"That's enough," Sakura interrupted him, scribbling down some notes. "Now with the other eye. Don't cheat."

With his right eye, he gave up around 'to'.

"Couldn't even get to the 'n' with that one?" Sakura noted with a little amusement. "And I thought that was the Uchiha clans favourite sound."

"... ... Hn," he scowled, and looked away.

"Exactly," she smirked. "Turn back to me, Uchiha-san. I have to be able to get to your eyes if I want to examine them."

He obeyed moodily.

"Okay, your next test is to intercept each of the senbon I throw with your own," she explained, giving him a handful of needles.

She threw them singularly, in pairs, and then in a bunch of seven. Somehow, despite his terrible sight, he managed to intercept all of them.

"Interesting," she muttered. "Itachi, could you actually _see_ those senbon, or were you tracing them by sound.

"Sound, mostly," he admitted. "I saw a few glints from the light."

"Remind me not to fight you in the dark," she laughed, moving closer to him, to properly examine his eyes. "Follow my finger with your eyes, please."

She moved her finger off to the left, and flipped the lid of his right eye with her spare hand. Throughout the tests, she kept up her professional front, while her mind was in turmoil.

**'He's as blind as a bat. This will take several long sessions of chakra surgery to fix.'**

'And that's _if _I even want to fix it.'

**'He could turn on us easily.'**

'He could fight Konoha.'

**'He could kill Sasuke-kun.'**

Outer Sakura smirked at the thought.

'He could kill Sasuke-teme.'

**'You really want him to die?'**

'He betrayed us. And as long as he lives, Naruto will continue in his pain. Sasuke must die. Then we can get closure and move on. All of us.'

Inner Sakura seemed to be mulling this over, as Sakura continued her examination.

"On a scale of one to ten, one being peachy, ten being agony, how much to your eyes hurt?" she asked, pen at the ready.

"...Eight," the Uchiha admitted.

"Alright, onto the last part of our exam, I need to check your eyes via chakra," she informed him, leaning forwards and touching her fingers to his temples. "Try to relax."

She focused her mind, and flowed her chakra into his eyes, retrieving information cell by cell.

"I see..." she sighed. "They're in a pretty bad state. Worse than Kakashi-sensei's by far, but that's because he keeps his covered most of the time."

"Can you heal them?" he asked, a pained expression on his face.

"I _can, _yes," she answered, a little smug. "Whether I will or not is the question. I'll have to talk to your leader first. I'll warn you now, though: if you decide to go through with it, there will be multiple agony filled sessions with me, and even if I restore you with perfect eyesight, they'll still start the decaying process each time you use sharingan."

Itachi frowned at her answer. "How difficult is this process."

"I am the only medic I know of with sufficient experience and knowledge of the sharingan, thanks mainly to Kaka-sensei. The only other person who might be able to do it is Tsunade-shishou herself, and she'd likely have to study my notes first, which would take a month. Any other random you found with an aptitude for medic-work would take about four years to train sufficiently and they still wouldn't be ready," she smirked. "Answer your question?"

Itachi's frown intensified.

"Go be emo somewhere else," she shoo-ed him off the chair. "Zetsu-san, it's your turn."

The bi-coloured man took his seat, and watched her warily.

"Okay, you've been having fevers, right?" she waited for his hesitant nod of confirmation. "Tell me about them."

"They come and go. **They usually happen after we feast. **Or if we don't eat for a while. **Or if we're in a cold climate," **he responded, two voices coming out of his mouth.

**'Is he... like us?' **Inner Sakura asked curiously.

'Depends, are you talking about the schitzophrenia or the evil Akatsuki cannibal thing?'

Inner Sakura just scowled.

"How long do they last on average?" she asked, placing the back of her hand to his forehead, to check his current temperature.

"Sometimes it's hours, **sometimes it's weeks," **he answered, eyes not leaving her own. "Will you actually heal us? **Or are you going to let us rot?"**

"Hmm, temperature's normal right now. I'll do what I can for you Zetsu-san. I don't have a grudge against you in particular," she gave him a small smile. "But I'm going to have to ask you something. If I do help you, will you still harm Konoha?"

"**You're bribing us," **Zetsu glared at her. **"Our life for your village."**

"Zetsu," she sighed. "I'm just trying to find out if I can trust you. I don't want to give you a kunai if you're going to stab me with it – you can understand that, right?"

"You won't let us die?" Zetsu asked her again, a little confused.

"Will you fight against Konoha?" she repeated, frowning.

"If you heal us, We won't touch anyone from Konoha," Zetsu bargained. **"But if you don't, We'll spend what's left of our life snacking on your friends."**

"Glad we're understood then. Let's get back to the exam," she answered him with a smile. "Now, how does this plant appendage work? Has it got nerves and vains running through it?"

"**Why does that matter?" **Black Zetsu scowled.

"It's important to know if this part of you is absorbing nutrients from your body, and how effective your food is at sustaining it and the rest of you. As you probably know, plants run off different food than humans," she explained. "So, mind telling me a bit about yourself?"

Zetsu's answers were often short, and contradicting, and she suspected his black side of straight out lying to her to keep her off track.

**'I'd do the same if you were giving away information to a possible enemy,' **Inner Sakura admitted. **'If you want the truth, you've got to get him to trust you.'**

"Okay, Zetsu-san, I'm going to use my chakra to search your systems. Could you take off your cloak, and lie down on the bed," she said outwardly, absorbing what her alternate personality had told her.

Zetsu obeyed slowly, obviously hesitant of putting himself in such a vulnerable position.

"**Pull anything funny, and We'll sink through the bed," **Black Zetsu threatened.

"Don't scare her, she's supposed to heal us," he chastised himself.

"Calm down Zetsu," she smiled slightly. "I'd be feeling the same if I were in your position. But I promise I wont 'pull anything funny', as you put it."

Zetsu remained silent, and watched as she traced her green chakra through his body.

"Is your schitzophrenia hereditary, Zetsu-san?" she asked curiously, focusing on checking how his organs were operating.

"...We don't know," he hissed. **"What's it to you? Do We scare you?"**

She smiled again, as she worked.

"Not really. I've also got another personality," she admitted. "But _she's _stuck in my head, thank goodness."

**'And what do you mean by that?!'**

"Heheh, probably shouldn't have said that," she winced. "She's useful, and good to have around, but sometimes she says inappropriate things. You probably know what I mean."

"Yes. **No."**

"So you don't know your parents?" she sighed. "Then I suppose you'd have no idea if you had a family history to do with these fevers."

"No, sorry," Zetsu averted his eyes, now choosing to stare at the ceiling.

"Hmm, this is interesting," she scrunched up her eyebrows in concentration. "Your body converts your food into a nitrogen mix to feed the fly trap around about here," she traced her hands over where the plant merged into his body. "But it takes a lot of energy to do so. Not only that, but it seems you're severely lacking several vitamins. What's your diet like?"

Zetsu remained silent.

**'He's embarrassed.'**

'I know.'

"I already know you're a cannibal, Zetsu, so I can account at least for a decent iron intake, but can you at least tell me your meat to vegetable ratio or something?" she poked him when he didn't respond except for a glare. "You don't eat fruit or vegetables, do you?" she sighed. "Just meat?"

"**Corpses are filling," **Black Zetsu stated, as though that should explain everything.

Sakura groaned in irritation.

"Zetsu-san, do you have any reason for not eating fruit or veges? Does it go against your religion or anything?" she asked tiredly. "Or do you just think they're yucky?"

"We don't like vegetables. **Or fruit," **he stated, a little embarrassed. "We haven't eaten them for years."

"Well, I think this might be the reason why you're getting sick. It's definitely a contributing factor," she gave him an odd look. "You raised yourself, didn't you?"

"**What's that got to do with anything?" **Zetsu snapped, making the girl wince.

Slowly, she sat down next to him.

"Naruto was raised by himself. He'll only eat vegetables if they're in a bowl of Ichiraku ramen," she sighed, a smile playing on her lips. "Whereas my parents always force fed them to me, until it was ingrained into me to eat them."

"**Your point?"**

"If you want to get better, Zetsu-san, you're going to have to start eating healthier," she nudged him with her shoulder. "I'll even help you find something you like."

Zetsu surveyed her, the black side of his face remaining immobile, while the white side contorted in confusion.

"Why are you so nice to me?" he asked, his voice heavy in disbelief.

Sakura blinked.

"Well, I've never met another skitz before," she grinned. "In a way, you're a bit like me."

She let her eyes drift from his eyes upward.

"**What are you looking at?" **Black Zetsu snapped, a little unnerved. She looked far too comfortable.

"Your hair," she spoke, reaching a hand out to brush it softly, not noticing his fly trap twitch. "It reminds me of grass."

"**You're one to talk, _Sa-ku-ra,_" **Zetsu hissed. "I don't think she was insulting us."

"Huh?" she blinked. "No, it wasn't meant to be an insult, honest!" she held her hands up in defense. "I actually really like your hair."

The bi-coloured man cocked his head to one side, and stared at her for a moment.

"We like your hair colour too, petal," Zetsu grinned suddenly. **"It looks delicious.** Don't say that."

Sakura giggled a little, his argument reminding her of ones she had all to often with herself.

"Thank you, White Zetsu-kun," she smiled brilliantly at him. "And Black Zetsu-san, I'll take that as a compliment. I think we're done here for today, if you want to put your cloak back on, and we'll see what we can do about experimenting with some healthy food."

--

Sakura had Zetsu lead her back to the kitchens, and help her rummage around in the cupboards.

"Well, there's not much here vegetable-wise, but there's some tinned apple. I could turn it into a pie for you, if you like," she suggested with a smile.

"**Apple pie?" **Black Zetsu repeated incredulously.

"We will try it if you eat some as well," White Zetsu bargained, making sure she wasn't making fun of him.

Sakura just smiled brilliantly. "Sure! We can share it."

Since that was sorted, Sakura began to make their meal, Zetsu hovering over her shoulder all thw while, just to make sure she wasn't trying to poison him.

Right after she put it in the oven, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Leader all entered the room.

"What are you doing?" Kakuzu asked her, before the others could speak, his voice disbelieving. Zetsu _never _hung around the kitchen. He wasn't even sure if he'd ever been _in _the kitchen before.

"Oh, we're cooking an apple pie," Sakura answered carelessly, brushing easily past Zetsu.

"You're _WHAT?_" Hidan almost fell over in shock.

Sakura looked at him quizzically.

"Zetsu never eats here," Kakuzu explained. "Or, I should say, he never _has._ I always thought he preferred more, ah, ... _meaty_ kinds of food."

"**Since when has our eating habits been any of your concern?" **Zetsu growled. "We have decided to experiment."

"Who are you?" Sakura asked the red haired, pierced man who she'd yet to be introduced to. "I'm Sakura."

"...I know," he replied in monotone. "You may address me as Leader-sama."

Sakura's expression immediately transformed into a scowl.

"You're not _my _leader," she growled.

Much to everyone's surprise, Zetsu put a restraining white hand on her shoulder.

"Call him Pein," he spoke to her gently, before turning his attention to his 'Leader'. **"I advise you not to antagonize the medic. She is needed."**

"Duly noted," the pierced man nodded. "Haruno-san. We must talk."

"Well, if you hadn't noticed, I'm in the middle of baking a frickin' pie, so the talk either happens here, or later," she scowled.

"Don't push him, petal," Zetsu advised her, getting the attention of everyone else in the room.

"_Petal?_" Hidan repeated the word as if it left an awful taste in his mouth. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"**Hidan, how long do you think it would take for an immortal to dissolve in acid?" **Black Zetsu asked darkly, making the albino shivered. Everyone knew he would carry out his threat if pushed.

"We will talk here," Pein interrupted. "The rest of you, leave until we are finished."

Grumbling, the three Akatsuki members left to wait out in the hall.

"You have made quite the impression on my men," Leader noted aloud.

"Hn," Sakura scowled, taking a page out of the Uchiha's book.

"Will you cooperate?" he asked her, hoping for a longer answer.

"What's in it for me?" she asked bluntly.

"Your life," the red head offered, his words thick with the threat.

"I don't care about that," she glared at the stunned man. "I refuse to heal Itachi if he'll just go and use his sharingan against Konoha. I will not put my friends lives in jeopardy."

"You want a truce, then?"

"I want to know what exactly Akatsuki's goal is. I want to know what you intend to do with the tailed beasts. And I also want you to bargain with Tsunade and Gaara – I'm no diplomat. I cannot make deals on behalf of my country," she stated coldly.

"I am afraid your answers will have to wait for now. I will, however, contact your Hokage and the Kazekage," he nodded to her. "You said you would not heal Itachi yet – what is your verdict on Zetsu?"

"I'll... help where I can with Zetsu," she agreed. "It will take time to build up his immune system."

Pein nodded in understanding.

"Are you happy with your sleeping arrangements?" he inquired.

"You mean with Kakuzu? Yeah, I don't mind him," she shrugged. "He's nice enough to me."

The pierced man frowned at this. 'Kakuzu' and 'nice' did not go together well. Something was wrong.

"Kakuzu has an unfortunate habit of randomly killing people," Pein informed her slowly and deliberately. "He has been through many partners, thus why he is now working with an Immortal. For your safety, I think it would be best if I moved you."

Sakura narrowed her eyes at this.

"I don't get a choice about this, do I?"

"No," he answered. "You will be moved into Kisame's room tonight. He is more temperate, so long as you don't insult his appearance or provoke him."

"Sure, whatever," she waved her hand in dismissal. "I'm sure we'll get along fine."

"Do you have any other queries?" Pein asked her politely.

"Yeah, when can I leave?" she glared at him.

"I will talk this over with your Hokage," he answered vaguely.

"Am I allowed out of this building at all? What about my training?" she asked moodily.

"You will be allowed outside with an escourt. You may train with anyone you can convince to work with you," he offered, making Sakura's jaw drop. She'd never expected him to be so lenient.

"Really? I- ... thanks, I guess," she replied to him quietly, not knowing what to make of the situation.

"Although you are not permitted to leave, it is my wish that you would feel more like a guest here, than a prisoner. All of my men know not to abuse you," he told her, monotone still in place. "The Akatsuki is not evil, as you may have been told, Haruno-san. Everyone here has been affected by conflict. It is Akatsuki's goal to end wars. It is also my wish that you would consider joining us."

"How do you expect to end wars?" Sakura spat. "By dictatorship?"

"All will become clear in time, Haruno-san," Pein dodged the question. "Just keep it in mind for now. I shall talk to you again."

With that, he left the scowling Sakura, who was still glaring at the table when Kakuzu, Hidan and Zetsu re-entered.

"What did he tell you?" Kakuzu asked her, tilting her chin up with a finger to meet his eyes.

"He wants me out of your room, for starters. I move into Kisame's room tonight," she frowned.

Kakuzu let out a growl. "Did he say why?"

"He thinks you might kill me," she answered sarcastically. "Or at least, that's what he _says_ he thinks."

He moved his hand to rest on her head.

"I wont," he promised.

Hidan shoved him roughly out of the way, and slung an arm around her shoulders.

"What else did he say? How long are you staying in this f***ing s*** hole?" he grinned at her.

"Well, I don't know," she removed Hidan's hand from her shoulder, and gave Kakuzu a hand up. "He said he's going to talk to Tsunade and Gaara about an agreement, in exchange for me to heal Itachi," she explained, noticing Zetsu was hanging back, observing her interactions with the two men who were glaring daggers at each other.

"**What about my fevers?" **Zetsu asked, watching her impassively. "Are you still going to help me?"

"I already said I would," she said, giving him a lopsided smile. "Come on, our pie's done."

Zetsu passed the two men who were trading threats, and helped Sakura with their freshly baked pie. Despite himself, his mouth started watering. He'd never eaten anything home cooked like this before.

"Ne, Sakura-chan! That smells f***ing good!" Hidan shoved his partner aside, and approached the pinkette with a grin. "When you become my wife, you should cook for me all the time!"

"Hidan, have I ever actually agreed to marry you?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Not yet, but you will," he retorted cheekily. "Can I have some of that?"

"**The pie's _mine_," **hissed Zetsu, suddenly feeling possessive.

Sakura giggled. "Sorry Hidan. This one _is_ for Zetsu. It's for his health, so the more he eats of it, the better."

"What are you trying to accomplish, anyway?" Kakuzu asked, a little bitterly. "Trying to turn the cannibal into a vegetarian?"

She frowned at the stitched man.

"He's not 'the cannibal', he's _Zetsu ,_and I'm not trying to turn him into a vegetarian. I'd settle for omnivore," she laughed as the ex grass-nin leaned over to sniff the pie, drooling a little. "And by the looks of it, I'm succeeding. Let it sit for a while, Zetsu-kun, or it'll burn your mouth."

She giggled, cutting him a piece, and placing it in a bowl.

"**How long until We can eat it?" **he asked her, eying the slice of pie greedily. "You're eating it too, right?"

"Of course. I said I would," she agreed, reaching out to wipe some saliva off Zetsu's chin, before dishing out a slice of her own.

At the contact, Zetsu shifted his attention from his upcoming meal to the woman in front of him, who was busying herself getting out utensils. A hungry look covered his features, sending chills down the spines of the two men watching.

"Did you just f***ing see that?" Hidan rasped in a whisper.

Rather than answering, Kakuzu strode up to Sakura, making sure to stay out of Zetsu's way by standing on her other side, and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey, Ragdoll," she greeted him warmly. "Sorry I can't really give you any of this, but I promise I'll cook you something later, yeah?" she offered with a smile.

"Sakura, could I have a word with you? Alone?" he asked her seriously.

"**She's busy," **growled Zetsu, getting a little moody. **"Talk to her later."**

**'...Are we going to get stuck in the middle of a freakin' death match?' **Inner Sakura whined.

'Not if I can help it,' Sakura replied, turning on the puppy dog eyes.

"Kakuzu," she took his hand in one of hers, and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Can this _please_ wait? We can go talk later."

Kakuzu felt himself giving in, and loathed himself for it.

"Fine," he answered moodily, claiming back his hand. "I'm going to make my lunch too, and when you're finished _we_ are going to go have a _private chat._"

"Thanks, Ragdoll," she gave him an eye-creasing smile, and pinched his cheek, just above his stitches, ignoring his irritated expression.

Putting the pie dish down in the middle of the table, Sakura sat down with her bowl to tuck in. Taking this as a sign his food had cooled down sufficiently, Zetsu devoured his meal with the table manners from hell.

Eating her first bite, Sakura decided it _was _one of her better creations, crediting it to the cinnamon.

After finishing his bowl, Zetsu grabbed the rest of the pie, and started to eat it straight out of the pan.

When he'd finished feasting on _that, _he turned back to Sakura with a crazed grin. Giggling, she pushed the bowl with the other uneaten half of her slice in his direction.

She'd barely blinked, and it was gone.

"Still hate fruit?" she asked him with a giggle.

"**Not _that _fruit!" **he enthused. "I've never had cooked fruit before. **I want more."**

"Let it settle," she smiled, standing up to take his dirty dishes, but not before fondly ruffling his hair.

'He's like a little kid,' she thought, amused, as she moved over to the sink.

**'He's _not _a little kid,' **Inner Sakura felt the need to voice.

'Yeah, but he can still act like one,' she insisted. 'It's cute.'

She turned her attention to her left, where Hidan was hassling Kakuzu about cooking him some lunch too.

"Come on! It's not too hard to add another egg," he pleaded pathetically.

"Then it won't be hard for you to do it yourself," the bounty hunter hissed back, sour mood only getting fouler.

"Play nice," she smiled in amusement, nudging him with her hip, her hands busy cleaning.

Kakuzu snorted, but spared her a smirk, letting her know he was annoyed with Hidan, not her.

"Who would I talk to about getting more food in this place?" she asked the three. "Pein said I could leave the building, if I have an escourt."

"I'll take you," Kakuzu stated, hoping for some alone time.

"**We will accompany you," **Zetsu added. "You will be getting our fruit, yes?"

Kakuzu shot him a dirty look, but Sakura seemed not to notice, already going through what she wanted to get.

**'And hopefully, we'll be able to figure out our general location,' **Inner Sakura put in with a smirk.

--

Thanks again for the reviews

I appreciate feedback/pairing votes/and encouragement :D

--offers apple pie


	4. Shopping and fights

thanks much for the reviews, guys!! I appreciate all input and pairing votes etc...

You're all awesome!!!

let me know what you think, ne?

**Disclaimer: Don't own it**

------

As soon as Kakuzu had finished his lunch, which he ended up sharing with Sakura due to the fact she only got one bite of pie, he dragged her immediately back to his room.

Slamming the door, he shoved her onto his bed, and glared at her with her arms crossed.

**'...The hell have we gotten ourselves into this time?' **Inner Sakura whined.

"What's going on, Kakuzu?" Sakura asked cautiously, her thoughts identical to those of her inner personality.

"What's going on with Zetsu?" he scowled at her.

"Huh?" she blinked. "Oh, I get it, you're jealous."

"I _warned _you about him," he hissed, advancing on her. "Yet I find you _cooking_ for him, and _touching _him. You shouldn't even be anywhere _near_ him unless you're healing him!"

By now he was so close she could feel his breath in hot puffs against her skin.

"Kakuzu-" she started, but he cut her off.

"What the hell were you _thinking?!_" he spat. "He was looking at you like he was going to eat you!"

"Kakuzu," she repeated, grabbing his shirt, and pulling him down to sit next to her. "He's not going to eat me. He needs me to help him with his fevers."

"Zetsu isn't logical," he warned her, staring into her eyes seriously. "His black personality might just kill you out of spite, whether you heal him or not. He's unstable."

"People have called me unstable before, as well," Sakura sighed, and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Thank you for worrying about me, but I really don't think he'll eat me," she spoke, moving her hands to hold one of his. "And if he does, you can be the first person to say 'I told you so'."

The bounty hunter gripped her hand tightly.

"Be cautious, Sakura-chan," he warned her. "You aren't as safe here as you pretend to be."

"I know," she looked away. "Can we go get some shopping done? I can cook you something tonight, if you like."

"Deal," he answered, picking his mask and hood off the bedside table, and giving her a hand up.

"And Ragdoll?" she grinned cheekily at him. "Can you spar with me later? Pein said I could get training off anyone I could convince to help me."

"That depends if you think you can keep up with me," he smirked back at her.

At that, she just gave him a flirtatious smile, and led him to the door by the hand.

"Let's go find Zetsu-kun, and stock up on food, ne?"

--

The trip to the nearest town was not the most peaceful outing Sakura had ever taken. Still, being used to traveling with Naruto and Sai, Sakura had perfected the skill of ignoring her company.

As Zetsu and Kakuzu traded threats, Sakura focused her energy on finding hints of where the heck she was.

'There's so many trees, we could still be in Fire,' Sakura thought to herself.

**'That'd be ironic,' **Inner Sakura replied. **'Hey, wait... do I smell salt?'**

'That'd mean...' her eyes widened.

**'We're in Mist,' **Inner Sakura mirrored her thoughts.

'That's right, look at those flowers!' she glared at some purple blossoms. 'They only grow where there's an _extreme _amount of moisture!'

**'Well, this sucks.'**

'Yea-' "Whoa!" she came to a halt when Kakuzu's face blocked her path. "What's up Ragdoll?"

"I said, is there something wrong?" Kakuzu frowned. "You looked angry."

"No, nothings wrong, as such," she just sighed in response. "I was just thinking."

"**To yourself?" **Zetsu asked curiously, making Kakuzu raise a brow. Who else would she be thinking at? It's not as though she had telepathy ... as far as he knew. His keen gaze once again settled on Sakura.

"Yeah..." she answered Zetsu, grateful he kept quiet about her alternate personality. "We close?"

"The nearest town is just beyond that bend," Zetsu informed her. **"We should alter our appearances now."**

Sakura nodded, and performed the hand seals lightening quick for a transformation jutsu. Her hair suddenly became jet black, and she stood a couple of inches taller, but other than that remained the same.

Zetsu turned into a pale man with pitch black hair, and matching eyes, but kept all his other features the same (except, of course, for his fly trap, which seemed to sink into his body.)

Kakuzu didn't bother casting any genjutsu, as he was covered with a mask and hood anyway.

Eager to see civilization again, Sakura picked up her pace, forcing her escourts to match her.

The town itself was small and quaint with an open market, selling everything from fruit and fish to clothing and knick-knacks.

Sakura dragged the others over in excitement, and started to look through the stands.

It took a while, and a lot of haggling from Kakuzu, but they finally had enough food to restock the Akatsuki pantry, in addition to bag-loads of fruit and vegetables that Sakura planned on making some master pieces out of (which Kakuzu forced Zetsu into carrying). Sakura was a little relived by the end, getting a little worn out trying to choose fruit.

Everything they looked at, Zetsu argued with himself about.

"We could try peaches. **I hate peaches. **Oranges? **I hate oranges. **Potatoes? **Disgusting starchy things. They look like mutant eggs. **Our petal might make them into a pie. **Potato pie sounds gross. **So did apple pie."

In the end, Sakura had to talk him in and out of buying various things, and convince him fruit could take on many more forms than just raw or pie. She definitely needed a break...

"Sakura-chan," Kakuzu addressed her, bringing her out of her thoughts. "You only have the clothes on your back, don't you?"

"...Yeah," she replied, a spike of hope rushing through her.

"Go pick out some more clothes while we're here," he offered. "Not too many, though."

Even though it was unlike Kakuzu to _offer_ to buy someone anything, as a large grin spread across her face, he couldn't help but think it was worth every cent.

The two men followed her as she jumped from table to table, Kakuzu happily paying for a few shirts and pairs of pants, amused at her excitement.

"**She is unusually happy for one in her predicament," **Zetsu voiced, and Kakuzu was unsure whether or not to respond.

"She is a tough kunoichi," White Zetsu answered himself. "She will do what is needed to survive."

"**Indeed," **Black Zetsu took on a sinister tone, the same hungry grin covering his face.

Kakuzu suppressed a shiver, and started to walk a little faster, eager to leave the cannibal behind.

In his haste, he almost knocked into his female companion as she came to a halt outside a store. She turned around, and gave him a pleading look, her face bright red with embarrassment.

He felt his eyes flick to the shop display, and his own cheeks coloured as well. Underwear. Ever thankful for his mask, he looked back to the woman in front of him.

"Come on then," he said gruffly, and led her into the store, and raising an eyebrow when she didn't leave his side. "I trust you don't need my help picking anything out."

She shot him an annoyed look, and went to start browsing the shelves. Kakuzu spared a glance outside and froze. Zetsu was standing across the street, glaring daggers at him through the door. He gave the cannibal an innocent shrug, and turned back to the counter in front of him, ignoring the killing intent directed at him.

A splash of pink caught his eye, and he moved to inspect a delicate hair-piece. It was an intricately designed comb, decorated with sakura petals the _exact_ shade of Sakura's hair, with a inky black border. It was the kind of thing a geisha might wear.

He felt his lips twitch into a small smile at the thought. He'd _love_ to see her like that, and wondered briefly if she'd ever had to impersonate one for a mission or anything.

He felt Sakura approach him from behind.

"What're you looking at, Ragdoll?" she asked him curiously, placing a hand on the small of his back.

"Do you like it?" he showed it to her, his voice softer than she'd ever heard it. "I'll buy it for you, if you like."

Sakura was oddly touched by the offer. She'd heard from others how stingy he was, which was confirmed by his constant haggling with the food-stall owners (which she couldn't help but find comical), but... he'd only been generous when it came to her. Anything she'd asked for so far, he'd bought without complaint. She couldn't help but feel touched.

**'He might want something in exchange,' **Inner Sakura pointed out skeptically.

'He's at least hoping for something, that's for sure,' she thought, as she gazed down at the hair-piece, brushing her fingers across the detailing. 'But he's already told us that.'

**'Maybe you should have picked out some sexier underwear,' **her Inner voice snorted.

Outwardly, she let out a sigh, and placed the comb back on it's shelf. She turned to her escourt, and stared into his confused eyes, her own full of gratitude.

She placed the items she'd picked out on the counter next to them, and gave him a gentle hug.

"You don't have to buy me anything like that, Kakuzu," she whispered. "You've already gotten me so much, and I'm grateful."

He lifted a hand up to play with her hair.

"That's not the point, Sakura-chan," he whispered to her huskily, putting her on guard. "I know you want to leave. And if you _do _manage to get back to Konoha, I want you to have something to remember me. To make you think of me."

**'Is he for real?' **Inner Sakura's eyes widened. **'Maybe you should take him up on it.'**

'I don't know,' Sakura was still hesitant.

**'If you don't take it, that's a pretty harsh rejection,' **she warned herself. **'You'll be pretty much saying you don't want to think of him ever again after this.'**

'But it's still allowing him to make a claim on me.'

**'So?'**

'You've changed your tune. Whatever happened to him being a freak with stitches?'

**'He's growing on me,' **Inner Sakura defended moodily. **'Now take the damn comb.'**

'You want it that much, huh?'

Letting her other personality have her way, she leaned up an gave him a kiss on the cheek through his mask.

"Thank you," she smiled at him. "But you know I don't need gifts to remember you, right? You've made quite the impression, just being yourself."

When he didn't answer, she gave him a gentle squeeze.

"But this doesn't change the fact we can't be together. You know that, right?" she looked into his eyes, a little concerned.

"You might change your mind, in time," he smiled lightly at her, not that she could see it. "In the mean time, please accept it."

"Alright," she whispered back to him, after one final squeeze. "Thank you."

It was then they realized the shop attendant was staring at them in a mixture of amusement and caution.

A little embarrassed, Kakuzu made the purchases, and led Sakura back out of the store, carrying her bags for her.

"**Why did you leave us out here," **Zetsu scowled at them.

"You could have come in if you wanted, Zetsu-kun," Sakura pointed out, touching his arm in concern. He seemed _really _pissed.

"**I wouldn't have wanted to interrupt your _moment,_" **he hissed.

"But spying on it was fine?" Kakuzu retorted, getting annoyed himself.

"**It's not as though you were hiding it," **Zetsu glared at him fiercely. **"I should devour you right now."**

"Shit," Kakuzu swore under his breath. "Black Zetsu's taken over," he whispered to Sakura, as the cannibal started advancing on him.

Sakura was shocked to see him acting so fearful. But, she guessed, she'd never seen Zetsu flip out before.

**'If you don't do something, our Ragdoll's dead,' **Inner Sakura warned her.

'Whoever thought we'd be protecting an S-class criminal?' she asked herself sarcastically, as she stepped in front of the bounty hunter, and raised her hands to rest on Zetsu's chest.

"Calm yourself, Zetsu-kun," she begged. "We don't need to make a scene."

"**Harlot," **he hissed back at her. **"What did you think you were doing back there? Have you slept with him too? You've only been here one night."**

"I haven't slept with him," she informed him calmly, the only sign of her anger being a twitch of the eye. "But we've become friends, I'd say. He did something nice for me, and I was just thanking him. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"

Zetsu's eyes flicked between them, to detect any lie.

"**So there's nothing going on between you?" **he questioned, gripping the girls shoulders and roughly lifted her off her feet.

"Not like what you're thinking," she evaded, and lifted her fingers to brush what she knew to be his white cheek, under the genjutsu. "Where's white Zetsu-kun? I miss him."

Zetsu's eyes softened marginally, as he set her down.

"We apologize. We have no right to be jealous," White Zetsu answered, and they heard an audible sigh of relief coming from Kakuzu.

"**Does this mean you like White Zetsu more than me?"** Black Zetsu sulked.

"It's just not the same without both of you," she smiled softly at him, and stroked her hand through his hair.

"Are we your friends?" Zetsu asked her curiously.

"You could be if you wanted to," she agreed.

"**Then we just did something nice for you, by not killing either of you. So thank me like you thanked Kakuzu," **he demanded.

"It's not quite the same when you ask for it," she giggled, and pulled him into a hug. "But alright."

Zetsu wrapped his arms around her, and shot a triumphant smirk at Kakuzu, who was clenching and unclenching his fists, staring at his feet.

"**You kissed him, too," **Zetsu reminded her smugly.

She leaned back, so she could look him in the eye.

"You were really paying attention, weren't you," she laughed slightly, then leaned in to his white cheek. "One for White Zetsu," she said, pecking him on the cheek, before moving to do the same on the other side. "And one for Black Zetsu."

"Although _next time_ you want a hug or whatever," she let out an irritated sigh, settling back into their embrace. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't threaten them out of me."

Leaning her head against his chest, she managed to catch Kakuzu's eye, and give him an apologetic look, to which he just looked away.

**'No matter, we'll just talk to him later,' **Inner Sakura voiced. **'It's not as though we had a choice, so he can't stay mad at us.'**

'You're starting to get fond of him, aren't you?' Sakura asked, both amused and a little frightened.

**'He might leave Akatsuki for us.'**

'Lets not close doors yet, though. The others might be our ticket back home.'

**'I know, but a girl can dream.'**

Slightly disturbed with her Inner, she pulled away from Zetsu slightly.

"You ready to head home yet?" she asked him.

Letting his arms drop from around her frame, he nodded, and started walking back up the path, carrying multiple bags of food.

She took a couple of steps towards Kakuzu, and took a couple of bags off him, brushing her fingers across his hand as she did so.

"I could have fought him," the stitched nin spoke, not looking at her.

"I'm not sure your Leader would approve," she sighed, starting to follow Zetsu's path. "Besides, I didn't want to risk it. We can talk later, Ragdoll."

"Yeah," he agreed. "We will."

--

Back at the base, Kakuzu had whisked Sakura back to his room immediately. Zetsu had wanted her to cook something for him again, but Kakuzu used the excuse she had to sort out her clothes, and forced him into taking a raincheck.

"Sakura-chan," he breathed, once they were safely back in his room. "Do you understand now, why I don't want you near Zetsu more than necessary?"

She took his hand in hers, and squeezed it gently, not making eye contact.

"I understand your point of view," she bit her lip nervously. "But... I think he's just a bit lonely."

Kakuzu's eyes widened in shock, before narrowing to slits. He grabbed her shoulders, and pinned her roughly against the nearest wall.

"_Lonely?_" he spat. "If he's _lonely, _it's because he _ate_ all his f***ing friends! Are you forgetting he's a hardened criminal?"

"So are you," she pointed out with a frown.

"Yeah, but I'm not a f***ing cannibal!" he shouted, increasing the pressure of his grip.

"Well, that is an unfortunate habit," Sakura agreed, and Kakuzu looked like he was going to blow his top.

"Unfortunate? _Unfortunate!?_" he repeated in disbelief. "He might f***ing _eat _you!"

Sakura sighed, and shook her head.

"I'd be dead, Ragdoll. I'd care if he ate me just about as much as I would if you turned my body in for a bounty."

Kakuzu dropped her, and she fell awkwardly onto the floor.

"I don't want you dead," he stated plainly, his voice and eyes both seeming a little hollow. "And if you _did _die, I'd return your body to Konoha before I handed it over to anyone else. Despite what you say, I know you'd want your friends to have your corpse."

Sakura had never thought she'd find someone talking about what they'd do with her corpse _sweet_ as such, but she also never thought she'd be on such good terms with Akatsuki, either.

"Thank you," she replied, a little awkwardly, from her spot on the floor.

Any response Kakuzu might have made was cut off by the door slamming open. The stitched ninja whirled around, furious at whoever it was that was invading his privacy.

The interloper just happened to be one very concerned Kisame. Concern turned to anger, as he noticed the visibly forming bruises on the young woman's upper arms, and the killer expression on Kakuzu's face.

"What did you do to her?" he growled, storming over to the other nin.

Just realizing what was going on, Sakura leapt up, and put herself between the two ninja exerting killing intent.

**'We're making this too much of a habit,' **Inner Sakura scowled. **'If we just let them fight over us, we'd likely halve Akatsuki's numbers.'**

"Please, Kisame, this isn't what it looks like," she begged him to believe her.

"I was just coming to get you to bring over your stuff," he explained. "I heard loud noises and raised voices."

"It's none of your business," Kakuzu growled.

"It is when I'm her new guard, and you're beating her up," he replied with just as much venom.

"It's not like that," Sakura interrupted again, and drew herself a little closer to the ex-waterfall nin, just to prove her comfort with him. "We were just talking. He was just a bit rougher than intended," she glanced at him, and received a nod of confirmation.

"You've got bruises," Kisame narrowed his eyes.

Sakura looked down, and noticed she did, in fact, have purple hand-shaped prints on each arm. Using a burst of green chakra, she healed them both immediately.

"There, gone," she gave a tight smile. "Kisame-kun, I'm a kunoichi, not a civilian. I can survive a little rough housing."

"I'll be sure to remember that," the blue skinned man raised a sardonic brow. "Now get your stuff, you're moving into my room."

She nodded, and obeyed, picking up her few belongings. Kisame picked up her sleeping bag and bed roll, and motioned for her to follow. She did, but not before giving her previous room mate a sad smile.

"See you later, Ragdoll," she farewelled him, and closed the door behind her.

Kakuzu sat down on his bed, feeling oddly empty, and sighed.

"What is that woman doing to me?" he muttered to himself.

--

Next time: Bonding with Kisame!!

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!!

Til next time, the_human_error


	5. Competition

Whoa~ it's been forever...

Sorry, I've been pretty busy ^^"

In the end, delicious delicious reviews inspired me to write a little more. Thanks muchly!

To make up for my horrible neglect, I've given you Kakuzu, Zetsu AND Kisame all in one chapter! Enjoy!

--

Kisame frowned as he escorted his new ward to his room. Something was definitely up with Kakuzu and Sakura.

They were _covering _for each other.

And that _couldn't _be good.

His frown intensified as they reached his room, and he closed the door behind them, leaning against it.

"Sakura-san, tell me the truth. Kakuzu can't get to you here," he watched her warily. "Why did he hurt you?"

Sakura sighed, feeling the tension in her muscles.

"It's like I said, we were just talking," she looked away. "I guess he got a little upset, but he didn't intend to harm me."

"And just what subject were you talking about that led to you getting bruises?" he narrowed his eyes.

"Look, Kisame, it's not really that big a deal. He was just warning me about Zetsu-kun," she scratched the back of her head. "He's upset that I... uh... get along with him so well," she finished lamely.

"You get along with Zetsu?" Kisame blinked. This was news to him. Kakuzu, Hidan, and now Zetsu? He better watch himself – perhaps she had some crazy sort of seduction genjutsu.

"Well, yeah, I suppose. I think we're kind of friends. Sort of," she voiced hesitantly – she was a little unsure, herself.

"I've never known Zetsu to have friends," Kisame frowned. "He usually eats people before they can even become acquaintances."

"Yeah, Kakuzu kind of told me that," she shrugged.

"And the whole cannibalism thing doesn't turn you off?" the mist nin asked curiously.

She raised an amused eyebrow at him.

"I knew he was a cannibal before I met him, and I know very well that all great ninja have their quirks," she shrugged carelessly.

"A quirk?" Kisame laughed. "You really are one weird girl."

"Look at the ninja that come from my village. It was bound to happen," she replied with a faint smile, making the blue man laugh.

"Seriously, though," Kisame gave her a wary look. "What is going on with you?"

"Ah... I don't really know what you mean. Zetsu needs to build up his immune system, which is why I'm cooking for him. We just seem to... get along. I can't explain it better than that," she shrugged.

"And Kakuzu?" Kisame pressed.

Sakura looked away, awkwardly.

**'What do we tell him?'**

'I don't know...'

**'He was there before. He knows Kakuzu likes us, so there's no harm in telling him what he already knows. Just be vague.'**

Agreeing with her Inner, Sakura sighed.

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "He likes me. I don't really see how it's any business of yours."

"Sakura-chan," Kisame frowned. "You're entertaining at the very least, and I'd be disappointed to see you torn apart any time soon, which is why I'm going to give you this advice. It is unwise to mess around with Zetsu, Kakuzu, or Hidan. Or any Akatsuki, for that matter. It's difficult enough to keep the peace as it is."

"Why are you even here, anyway?" Sakura asked him curiously. "In Akatsuki, I mean."

"There's not many places for a guy like me to go," Kisame replied with a hint of amusement. "Leader-sama offered me something I couldn't refuse."

"A home?" Sakura tried, making Kisame snort.

"I wouldn't really call it that. It's more a job with free board, but you're on the right track," he shrugged. "Better than living in caves dodging ANBU, anyway."

"Even though they want your demon?" Sakura queried. "Is it really worth your life?"

"Well, I was kind of hoping I'd either be able to keep it, or end up like the Kazekage," Kisame admitted. "Though I'm a little less hopeful now."

"You know..." Sakura looked him over. "I can't really guarantee anything, but... If you decide to leave, I might be able to get Tsunade to let you stay in Konoha."

Kisame raised an eyebrow at that.

"Trying to get me to sneak you out of here, are you?" he asked in amusement.

"It's no secret I don't want to be here," she sighed, staring at the ceiling. "Although, I wouldn't mind staying a little longer – Pein said he'd get in touch with Tsunade and Gaara to make a deal, and I want to see how that works out. But I mean it. Maybe it's just a twisted way of doing something for Zabuza-san. But I mean what I say - if the situation arises, I'll do what I can."

"You barely know me," Kisame frowned in mistrust. "Why would you do this for me?"

"You're strangely charismatic," the kunoichi shot him a smile. "Not to mention it would be a strategic move to make an ally out of you."

Kisame laughed again, giving her a curious grin.

"Well, kunoichi, we'll see what happens," he patted her on the head. "And I appreciate the offer. In return, if anyone here gives you a hard time, you can come hide behind me."

Sakura blinked, but before she could reply, they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Kisame-san, do you have Sakura-chan?" Zetsu's voice drifted through the wood. **"Open the hell up, before I phase in there and kick your ass!"**

Kisame raised an eyebrow at his pink haired companion, before opening the door. "Zetsu, what can I do for you?"

"**Give me the girl," **Zetsu growled, shoving past the ex-Mist nin.

"Petal, come cook for me," he requested in a much nicer tone.

"Don't worry, Zetsu-kun, I didn't forget," Sakura gave him a cheerful smile. "I just had to move in with Kisame-san. Perhaps we should invite him for dinner?"

"**No.** Alright."

Sakura blinked.

"Ah... Kisame?" she turned to her 'guardian', who was trying not to laugh. "You wanna come with us?"

"Heh, sure," he gave a lop-sided smirk, and held the door open for his roommate and the interloper to exit.

Zetsu grabbed Sakura with his black hand and marched her out of the room. Kisame couldn't help but wonder at this – what exactly _was_ going on with this kunoichi.

"Zetsu-san," he addressed him cordially, as he closed the door behind him. "I believe Sakura-chan is capable of walking on her own."

The bi-coloured man ignored his comment, gripping her more tightly, and increased his pace.

Kisame followed closely behind, ready to interfere in case anything untoward happened.

Meanwhile, Sakura was having a mini-breakdown with herself.

**'What do we do?'**

'Sit tight, then make some food?'

**'Have you not noticed plant boy has a freakin' death grip on us?'**

'He's just possessive, like Kakuzu.'

**'But he's NOT Kakuzu. Holy hell, what happens if 'Kuzu-kun sees us like this?'**

'Kuzu-kun? What the hell is wrong with you, Inner?'

**'Shut it. I like the Ragdoll. Okay, listen up, it's planning time. What do we know about Zetsu's intentions towards us?'**

'That he called us 'his', and we are officially in the 'friend' category since that shopping trip earlier today.'

**'I'd be inclined to think he only liked us for our cooking skills, but I think it's more than that. Perhaps we're the only ones to have shown him kindness? Or maybe it's a bond created because we're both skitz's. We might be the only one's he's found who are like him.**'

'Perhaps we can control this, if we have a heart to heart with him. Get him to stick to the 'friend' zone.'

**'By the feel of it, his idea of 'friend'** **might be a strange mix of slave and pet.'**

'We'll have to change his definition of it then.'

**'Think you can do it without being eaten?'**

'Don't be a cow, he isn't that bad.'

**'Don't tell me _you _have a thing for Zetsu!'**

'Shut up! I do not! I'm just acknowledging he's alright, as far as missing nin go. And I wouldn't mind being his-'

**'-wife?'**

'Shut up!! Friend! I was going to say friend!'

**'Whatever. And where do Mr. Gills and Mr. Slaughterhouse fit into this?'**

'Kisame could prove to be a useful ally. His loyalty to Akatsuki is weak. If we could work it out with Tsunade , it'd be one less Akatsuki member. Hidan... well, as long as he's into sacrificing people, I want to keep him as far away from Konoha as possible.'

**'Look alive, we're almost there.'**

Letting out a sigh, Sakura looked up as they walked into the kitchen/dining room. She pulled away from her escort, and opened up the now fully stocked pantry as the others sat down by the table.

"Okay, what do you two feel like eating?" she gave Kisame a glance. "Banana pancakes?"

"Sounds great," the shark nin grinned, watching Zetsu carefully out of the corner of his eye. "But then again, so does most free food."

Zetsu leaned forward, a hungry grin covering his features.

"We've never had a pancake," he informed her in a mix of excitement and curiosity. **"Is it as good as apple pie?"**

Sakura felt her heart melt a little, and gave him a motherly smile. Perhaps she'd mistaken his earlier actions for simple excitement.

"It's tasty, but in a completely different way," she told him, gathering the ingredients, before an idea struck her.

"Zetsu-kun, this recipe is easy to make masses of, so would you mind if we invited the others too?" she gave him a sweet smile.

Zetsu stayed silent for a moment, before his face turned sour.

"**You mean Kakuzu," **he practically spat, the malice in his voice taking her by surprise.

**'Crap, calm him down!' **Inner Sakura panicked.

Sakura took the couple steps it took to stand in front of the cannibal, and placed a hand on his head, her other arm coming to rest gently around his shoulders.

"Yes, I mean Kakuzu," she sighed, looking him in the eye, while stroking his hair softly. "And Kisame. And while we're at it, why not Hidan, Itachi, and whoever else is on base as well? I figure since I might be here for a while it's as good an opportunity as any to meet the rest of Akatsuki."

Zetsu continued to frown at her.

"Hey, what's wrong with that?" she poked him in the cheek. The white one, just to be safe.

"**Kakuzu wants you," **Black Zetsu answered her.

"You think I don't know that?" Sakura sighed.

"**You're _mine._"**

Now Sakura frowned, crossing her arms across her chest, and leaning back slightly. Nope. Not just excitement.

"I don't belong to _anybody,_" Sakura stated. "And if I did, as a ninja it would be my Hokage. She is the only one I would allow to make such a claim on me."

"**You're here to heal **_**me. **_**You're **_**my**_** friend. **_**Mine.**_**"**

Sakura exhaled heavily. He wasn't referring to himself in plural – that meant Black Zetsu had taken over...

**'Ah, crap.'**

"Zetsu-kuuuun," she whined. "You don't get how this works, do you? You haven't had friends before?"

He shook his head.

She gave a pleading look to Kisame, who was watching them wide-eyed, and seemed to be gripping something that looked suspiciously like a kunai.

"Okay, Zetsu-chan, I'm going to explain to you my idea of friendship," she sighed, and sat down between the two men. "Friendship isn't like a _claim_ on someone. It's when two people mutually agree that they like each other and care about each other. We can talk, spend time together and the like, but it doesn't mean you own me, or I own you, alright? And we're both allowed to make other friends too. Which means you should stop being so mean to Kakuzu." She poked him in the forehead for emphasis.

Zetsu frowned.

"We don't want to share you," he stated, shooting bitter looks towards Kisame, who started to back away a little. Sakura felt her tense shoulders relax a little – White Zetsu was back.

"You're just possessive because I'm your first friend," she petted his hair. "And that's alright too. But getting along with people, making friends - it's part of who I am. You won't be doing us any favors by keeping me from doing that – from being who I am. Just because I like them too doesn't mean I like you any less. You got that?"

He nodded a little moodily, and Sakura gave him a brief hug.

"So, will you do me a favor, and invite the others in for dinner?" she asked, giving him her sweetest smile.

"**If this is a favor, does that mean we get a kiss in return?"** Black Zetsu prodded, while White Zetsu was horrified with himself. "She doesn't want to. Ignore him, Petal, we didn't mean to-"

He was silenced by a brief but soft kiss to the forehead.

"Zetsu-kun, I would appreciate it very much if you would invite the others to dinner," she smiled, watching his expression morph into symmetrical happiness as he sank through the floor.

Once the cannibal was completely out of sight, she turned to her remaining companion with a slightly embarrassed expression.

"So... you believe we get along now?" she laughed nervously, scratching the back of her head.

Kisame just stared at her in absolute horror. In his entire life, he'd never seen anything quite so disturbing. This girl had one of the few men who could leave Kisame – heck, probably even _Leader_ shaking in their boots, completely wrapped around her little finger. And it was no seduction technique, like he had thought earlier. It was just by being herself.

Not only that, but _he'd _offered her protection as well. She'd already started to worm her way under his skin.

"Kisame-san?" Sakura frowned at him in annoyance. "If you don't close your mouth, a bug might fly in there."

Seeing no reaction, she moodily started to mash several bananas.

After taking a moment to compose himself, he warily approached her.

"Ne, Sakura-chan... Are you sure this is the best idea? Getting close to him?" Kisame asked nervously.

Sakura paused in her mashing, and pondered how to answer him.

"Honestly? No. I have no idea what I'm doing. But... he's lonely. It doesn't seem right _not _to befriend him."

"And you seriously don't mind the things he's done?" Kisame questioned her, his face uncharacteristically serious. "He has _a lot _of blood on his hands."

"And so do you," she turned to meet his eyes. "You are all S-Class criminals. Of course there is blood on your hands. But that is a part of the life of a ninja. Don't forget I live that life too. Everyone seems set on reminding me how dangerous all of _you _are. But you seem to forget that I am as well. Don't let the pink hair fool you, Kisame."

"So how did Kakuzu get you, anyway?" the shark nin questioned.

"I was on my way back from a mission. I hadn't slept in about a week and a half, and was running out of chakra," Sakura frowned. "He captured me easily, with his hair."

Kisame looked a little surprised.

"A ninja is only as good as they are at their worst," she said, turning back to her ingredients. "I wasn't strong enough."

"That's... an interesting quote," Kisame paused. _You're only as good as you are at your worst. _"Where did you hear it?"

"It's just something I figured out a while ago," Sakura shrugged. "When I was fighting Sasori, I think. I wouldn't have survived if it wasn't for Chiyo-baa-sama. And then even she died. I've been trying to get better, but I'm obviously not getting much headway since I was taken out so easily."

"Hmm," Kisame frowned. She was hard on herself, but that was likely where she got the drive to train.

"What about you, Kisame?" Sakura asked, stirring away at her batter. "Do you have a ninde? A saying that sums up your ninja way?"

"Eh..." Kisame stared at her thoughtfully. "Not really. I think I adapt to whatever the situation is, rather than standing firm to one particular thing. Gives me more freedom, you know?"

"I suppose you'd have to be, as a missing nin," Sakura agreed. "I don't know if I could do it. The teachings of the Third and the Fifth, my friends, my loyalty to Konoha - I think it's what defines me. Where I find my purpose. It must be hard to break away from that."

"You Leaf nin are way too touchy feely," Kisame noted with an amused grin.

"Even Itachi?" Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Well, every rule has an exception," Kisame shrugged.

Before they could psycho-analyse the Uchiha, the door opened, and a horde of Akatsuki walked in, led by Zetsu.

"Pancakes! Pancakes! Tobi loves pancakes!" A childish voice rang out from the group.

"What the hell?" Sakura muttered, observing the group.

There.

The source of the voice was not a young boy, but a fully grown male wearing an orange spiralling mask.

**'He's completely covered,' **Inner Sakura noted. **'Including gloves. He's hiding something.'**

'I don't think Zetsu acts like a kid any more,' Sakura noted to herself. '_This _is obviously the kid of Akatsuki.'

**'I don't like him. He's hiding something,' **her alternate personality repeated, evaluating him critically. **'He's in Akatsuki, after all, so he must be S Class. The childish antics are obviously an act.'**

'Even against the other members?' she mused. 'Either way, we can't let him know we're onto him.'

"Your name is Tobi?" Sakura tilted her head, letting an amused smile cover her face. "Don't tell me you're part of Akatsuki."

"Yes!" he pushed past the others, who glowered at him in response. He was practically vibrating with excitement. "And you are Sakura-chan! Tobi is very happy to meet such a pretty girl! Even more happy that Sakura-chan is making Tobi pancakes!"

"Well, it's nice to meet you too, Tobi-kun," Sakura let herself laugh. "I'm assuming blondie over there is your partner?"

"Wow! Sakura-chan is pretty AND clever!" Tobi bounced. "Deidara-sempai is Tobi's partner. But just between you and me," he changed his voice into a comic whisper that could be easily heard. "Sakura-chan should stay away from Deidara. Sempai is a little nuts!"

"I heard that you bastard!" said blond cussed, glaring at the now-cowering man.

Sakura sniggered, and let her gaze drift to Kakuzu, who was standing back and taking turns between glowering at Zetsu, and glowering at Tobi.

"So, Pinkie!" Hidan drew her attention, brushing past his moody partner, a neutral Itachi, and the loudly brawling pair. "You're practicing your wifey skills for when you decide to marry me."

"I'm not going to marry you, Hidan," Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose, smiling despite herself.

"Sure, you say that now, but you'll warm up to me soon enough," he grinned.

Ignoring him, she grabbed Zetsu's arm, and dragged him over to the bench.

"You should learn how to make this too, you know," she told him, and explained what she'd already done, putting the first lot of batter into the frypan.

Zetsu watched her with avid attention, and even flipped a few pancakes himself. Soon enough, there was a massive stack, which they dished out equally to everyone.

"Oh! Oh! Tobi has ice cream!" the masked Akatsuki shouted, running out of the room, and returning seconds later with several containers of ice cream. "Tobi is exited! Tobi never though he'd eat with _Zetsu_ before!"

"Tobi is a good boy," Zetsu patted him on the head, as he put the cartons on the table.

"**Among other things," **his darker side added cynically, making Deidara snort.

Sakura handed out stacked plates, and managed to get a seat next to Kakuzu, Zetsu sitting on her other side.

"So, Tobi-kun," Sakura addressed the masked man, who had slid his mask just far enough up to be able to eat. "How come I didn't see you before? I've been here a couple of days."

"We were on a mission," Deidara cut in. "We got back this afternoon."

"Right," Sakura responded, a little awkwardly, and focused on her food.

"Sakura-chan, this is great!" Hidan said, around a mouthful of food. "Seriously! You're the best f***ing choice I could've made for a wife."

Both Zetsu and Kakuzu stopped eating altogether, glaring daggers at the albino.

**'Better stop this now,' **her Inner warned.

"Would you shut up about that?" Sakura frowned at him. "Although the idea in itself is hilarious, its getting old. I don't know where the hell you even picked the idea up from, because I _told _you I have no intention whatsoever of marrying you. Ever."

"I love it when you argue," he seemed to brighten up. "Seriously, you're hot when you're annoyed. And you may not _think _you want to marry me _now_, but you will! I figure if you hear it enough times you'll start to believe it." He even had the audacity to wink at her.

"So basically you think you can hassle me into marrying you, and I'll just agree to it to shut you up," she said in disbelief. The others had also stopped eating to watch the show.

"Bingo, Spunky," he gave her another grin.

"No, Hidan! You can't propose to Sakura-chan like that!" Tobi interrupted, sounding scandalized. "You need to give her flowers! And a ring!"

"Don't give him ideas," Sakura growled.

-SNAP-

Blinking in surprise, Sakura glanced to her right, realizing (along with the rest of the table) that Zetsu had gripped his metal spoon so hard it had snapped. That, and he looked absolutely livid.

"Zetsu-kun?" Sakura touched his arm lightly, but he didn't respond.

She gave him a hesitant poke.

"**Hidan, if you ever speak to our petal again, We will kill you," **Black Zetsu threatened, before grabbing the pinkette and phasing through the floor – an act which illicited several shouts from the others.

Taken by surprise, Sakura had no option but to cling to her kidnapper for dear life, as she was surrounded by the odd feeling of Zetsu's mayfly technique.

When they finally resurfaced, they were outside, surrounded by plants. It appeared to be a garden. Zetsu's garden?

"Zetsu-kun... where are we?" she asked in confusion. "And why did you take me out of there?"

Zetsu frowned at her.

"**Hidan was bothering you," **he stated.

"Yeah, but the others weren't," she sighed. "I can handle myself, Zetsu."

He brushed his black thumb across her cheek.

"**We know," **he answered, a little quieter. **"But we will protect you anyway."**

Feeling frustration bubble up inside her, she let out a sigh, her forehead coming to rest on his chest.

"Where are we?" she repeated.

"**A short way from base," **he frowned. **"You don't want to be here? We thought We would show you our secret garden."**

"I would've appreciated a little warning," she sighed again, looking around. "You have a secret garden? It's nice."

She smiled, as she noted the variety of medicinal herbs. "You've got quite the collection here."

"**This is one of many," **Zetsu said, standing back enough to give her some space.

'He was worried about us,' Sakura realized. 'He knew we were getting annoyed, and took us out here to calm down. To feel safe.'

**'But what does he want us to feel safe **_**for?' **_Inner Sakura asked cynically.

'Shut up.'

"Zetsu," she turned back to him, enveloping him in a hug. "Thank you. For looking out for me. But can you please take me back? The others might be worried."

"You don't want to be with us," White Zetsu's dejected voice replied.

"Hey, I'm not saying that," she frowned. "I mean, I wouldn't mind spending some one on one time with you later, but we left pretty abruptly. It's kind of rude."

"**We don't care about them," **Zetsu frowned, then pushed away from her a little. "We will remain here until Hidan and Kakuzu have left."

**'Huh?' **Inner Sakura blinked. **'What'd he say about our Ragdoll?'**

"They're going somewhere?" Sakura echoed her thoughts.

"They were given a mission shortly before you saw them," he informed her blandly. **"They will be gone for at least a week. You will not see them off."**

Sakura clenched her fists. How _dare _he treat her like this.

"Why, Zetsu?" she demanded tightly. "Why are you so set on controlling me?"

The subject of her ire remained silent, observing her. His face seemed to show a mix of confusion and indecision.

"Zetsu," she advanced on him, her tone one of warning.

"**We will limit the power you have over us," **he answered her finally.

"What?"

"We like you, Petal," White Zetsu assured her. "We like you very much."

"**But we don't trust you," **his darker side seconded. **"You might be using us. We aren't blind. We will keep you to ourselves."**

Sakura let out a breath, collapsing onto the ground in exhaustion and frustration.

"I really don't understand you, Zetsu-kun," she sighed, looking up at him. "You confuse the heck out of me."

"**We don't understand you either, Petal," **he responded. "It is why we are so cautious."

They spent a moment staring at each other, until Zetsu moved to sit next to her. Sakura remained silent as he reached out and gently touched her hair, marveling at the colour. When he started to trace her features, however, she had to look away.

"What do you want from me, Zetsu?" she asked tiredly.

**'It's pretty freakin' obvious,' **her Inner chastised her.

"We want to know what it is that makes you so special," he muttered, reclaiming his hand. **"Why we should make a bond with you, of all people. **Why you make us feel again."

"Feel what?" she asked curiously, turning back to study his features.

"**Not hate. Or sadness. You make us feel other things," **he scrunched his nose. "But we can't remember what. You make us forget our grudge, even for a moment."

"Grudge?" she blinked, sitting up again.

He simply nodded.

"What grudge?" she asked, leaning closer.

"**Against my village," **he frowned. **"Against everyone."**

'He must have been pretty badly abused,' she thought. 'And he had no family.'

**'Could this be what turned him into a criminal?' **her Inner wondered. **'And a cannibal?'**

She watched him, sympathy overriding wariness.

"What did they do to you, Zetsu-chan?" she whispered, but instead of answering he just stared at her.

"**You pretend you care," **he accused. **"But then you'll leave us. For Kakuzu. For Konoha. For **_**them.**_**"**

Her eyes widened in shock at the malice in his voice. Acting on impulse, she shot forward and hugged him again, gripping him tightly to her as they fell to the ground.

"Zetsu. I _do _care," she admitted painfully. "I know I shouldn't. But I like you. I care about you. I want to be your friend. And yes, I want to leave. I want to go back to Konoha. It's my home, Zetsu, it's where I belong. But that doesn't necessarily mean I wouldn't want to see you again."

**'Damn Akatsuki. We haven't been this emotional in a long time,' **Inner Sakura complained.

"What about Kakuzu? You like him better than me," Zetsu insisted, although he had calmed down a little. Now he just sounded... sad.

"I don't know how I feel about him. I'm divided," she answered truthfully. "The other me is a little attached to him. But I don't want to get involved like that with anyone. I already told him I can't give him what he wants."

"Not with anyone," Zetsu echoed dully.

"You're not the only one who's been hurt, Zets," she sighed, feeling suddenly tired.

"**And that is why you don't want to get attached?" **he asked, watching her keenly.

"Yeah," she sighed. "And when it comes to you and Kakuzu it's even worse. I feel like my village is the only thing I have left. I wish I could take you guys back with me. But I know it's not that simple."

Zetsu remained quiet for a while, and Sakura sighed again.

"Zetsu, has Kakuzu left yet?" she asked.

He looked in the direction the base must be, with his mysterious yellow eyes.

"No."

"Can I please see him off?" she begged, making puppy eyes at him. "Please? Just for a minute?"

He seemed to battle with himself for a moment, his face contorting with his frustration, before finally letting his shoulders sag in defeat.

"Okay. **But only for a minute."**

**'YES!' **Inner Sakura pumped her fists.

Outwardly, she smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek before settling into his arms, ready to be transported.

"Thank you Zetsu-kun."

At the contact, Zetsu gave a small, self-satisfied smile, and took a moment to enjoy the hug, before phasing once again through the ground.

-

Kakuzu nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Zetsu's fly trap emerging from his bedroom floor. He released his stitches immediately, ready to fight for his life if necessary.

Then he noticed pink hair.

"Sakura-chan!" he exclaimed, thankful she was still alive.

"Hey, Ragdoll," she greeted him, giving Zetsu one final squeeze before heading over to the bounty hunter.

"Zets said you were leaving, so I guess our sparring match will have to wait, ne?" she said, brushing his arm gently, still very aware of the cannibal standing behind her.

"I guess," Kakuzu answered awkwardly.

**'Can't we get a little privacy?' **her Inner whined.

'I can only try,' she responded.

"Zetsu-kun?" she pleaded, giving him the same puppy eyes. "Can I get a minute alone with him? Just a minute?"

"**No."**

"Pleeeeease?"

"**What do you have to say to him that involves privacy?" **he asked, accusation in his voice.

"Come on, Zets. It's awkward with you looming over our shoulders. You wouldn't want Kakuzu sitting in on our little talks, right?" she reasoned.

...

"**You have one minute," **he frowned at them, before phasing into the floor.

"He's probably still watching us," Kakuzu warned her, taking a step closer nevertheless.

"Doesn't mean I can't hug you goodbye," she shrugged, doing just that.

Although he responded, it was obvious he was still wary, half-expecting Zetsu to jump out of the shadows and kick his ass.

"Look after yourself, Ragdoll," she sighed.

"You too," he frowned.

"Kakuzu..." she began, unsure exactly how to proceed. "If I'm gone by the time you get back..."

She had his attention now – he was keenly analysing her.

"I wouldn't be adverse to running into you again," she said awkwardly. "Or... if you came to Konoha. So long as you didn't kill anyone."

He laughed a little at that, tightening his grip on her.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan. You'll see me again," he reassured her with a lopsided smirk that made Inner Sakura faint.

"I'm glad," she replied, poking him in the ribs. "Try not to miss me too much, eh?" she winked at him.

"I'll try," he smirked, ruffling her hair. "You be cautious. Don't forget who you're dealing with."

She nodded, hugging him tightly again.

"**Your minute's over," **Zetsu growled in annoyance.

Pulling back, Sakura paused to take a last look at her Ragdoll. Letting Inner Sakura take over, she gave him a peck on the cheek before returning to Zetsu's side.

"Don't let Hidan annoy you too much," she waved over her shoulder, dragging Zetsu out the door.

Kakuzu watched them leave in silence, before picking up his pack and heading off to meet his irritating partner, a definate feeling of depression coming over him.

-

"Thank you, Zetsu," Sakura squeezed his hand as they walked down the hall.

"**You really like him," **he sulked. "Of course she does. It's not as though we're much of a catch. **She said she liked us too. **We don't need pity."

"Zetsu!" Sakura snapped her fingers in front of his face to get his attention. By the looks of it, he'd almost forgotten she was there.

"Sa-Sakura-chan... Sorry," he started awkwardly. **"We were thinking."**

"Yeah. Out loud," Sakura pouted. "We're going to have to have a looong chat sometime, Zets."

"**Now?" **he asked somewhat hopefully.

"Nope. Now we should see Kisame, since he's my official guardian here and you're messing with his job of watching me," she frowned. "_Then _we should go eat something since you kidnapped me barely half way through dinner."

"...Sorry," he muttered, embarrased. "I let our pancakes go to waste."

Sakura giggled at his cute expression.

"That's alright. Just no more mid-meal kidnappings, alright?"

He only nodded noncommitedly.

--

As soon as they re-entered the kitchen, Sakura felt a solid object impact her. It took half a second to realize Tobi had glomped her.

"Tobi is so glad Sakura-chan is alive!" he cried. "He thought Zetsu-sama was going to EAT her!"

"Aah... thanks, I guess," she responded, patting his head awkwardly.

"**Tobi." **Black Zetsu growled. **"Let Sakura go."**

Immediately he detached himself.

"Tobi saved Zetsu-sama's and Sakura-chan's pancakes because Tobi is a good boy," he informed them. "Even though Sempai wanted to eat them. Very, very naughty, ne?"

She brightened immediately at this, ignoring the blond's cussing, and heading over to the table, where Kisame and Itachi were still seated. The sword-weilder was watching them with a grim expression.

She offered him a tight smile, before sitting down and digging in, her bi-coloured friend following suit wordlessly.

Her still-warm pancakes fell like stones in her stomach as she felt four pairs of eyes watching her.

"Ne, ne, Sakura-chan... where did you go?" Tobi bounced up and down behind her.

She shrugged. "A little ways away from base," she answered vaguely. "Ask Zetsu."

"Zetsu-sama?" the masked man swapped targets.

"**What We do is none of Tobi's business," **he responded, finishing off his meal and standing. "Petal. We will fetch you to make us breakfast."

"What am I, your maid?" she pouted. "Fine, but you're going to help me."

He paused, seeing to be debating with himself mentally, before nodding. Then he turned and left without another word, leaving Sakura to stare after him quizzically.

"Haruno-san," Itachi addressed her, surprising her slightly.

"Yes, Uchiha-san?" she responded, carefully polite.

"Thank you for the meal," he inclined his head in a small nod.

"You're welcome," she returned the gesture, suddenly suspicious.

"I wish to discuss my impending surgery with you," he stated neutrally, his features blank of any emotion.

**'Ah. So _this _is what this is about.'**

"It's only impending if Pein, Tsunade and Gaara come to an agreement," she frowned at him.

He narrowed his eyes.

"I will speak with you soon," he repeated, before leaving as well.

"Whoa, he really hates you, un," the blond spoke up, plopping down across from her.

"Whoop-dee-doo," she rolled her eyes.

"So, un. You're Sakura, yeah," he let his eyes roam over her. "You're not what I expected. I thought you'd look a bit less girly, since you managed to kill Sasori, yeah."

"Noted," she answered shortly. She hated being mocked for a thing like that.

"Haha!" Tobi bounced into the seat next to her, grabbing at her arm. "Sakura-chan hates Deidara-sempai!"

She shoved him off her.

"I don't _hate _him," she frowned at the hyperactive idiot. "I'm just tired."

"So... where _did_ Zetsu take you?" Deidara pressed her.

"Does it matter?" she snapped. "He brought me back. End of story. Kisame, can you show me the way back to your room?"

The ex-mist nin silently stood, gripped his shoulder, and marched her down the hallway, remaining silent the whole way.

Once they arrived in his room, he closed the door, did several quick successive hand seals, before placing a paper seal on the door.

"What's that for?" Sakura asked nervously. The shark man was acting strangely, and it _seriously_ worried her, Kakuzu's warning still echoing in her head.

"Tell me what's going on," he eyed her just as cautiously. "Kakuzu. Hidan. Zetsu. What are you planning?"

She blinked.

"...Aaah, I haven't really got a plan," she shrugged.

'Shit, what do we say?' she stressed.

**'Morino-san always said to stick with a variation of the truth. It's easier to keep up.'**

'Got it.'

"I guess..." she sighed, sitting down on Kisame's bed. "I guess at first I just wanted to stay on their good sides so they wouldn't kill me. But they just had to be so god damned sweet..." she looked away. "I like them. Even Hidan, when he's not being a complete jerk."

"Have you offered any of them the same deal as me? Sanctuary in Konoha?" he narrowed his eyes.

"Um... I told Kakuzu and Zetsu I wouldn't mind seeing them again, when I go back," she cocked her head. "I never offered for them to stay. Maybe I should."

"I'm going to ask you this one more time. What is your plan?" he ground out.

"...I wish I had one," she frowned. "What's with the 3rd degree, anyway?"

"I want to know how you've managed to get so close to those two in such a short time – Hidan is understandable, but Zetsu and Kakuzu have always been naturally solitary."

"I think they're just a bit lonely. Too much solitude can get to anyone," she shrugged. "Why do you even care so much?"

He didn't reply.

"You think I'm manipulating them to take down Akatsuki or something, don't you?" she tested, watching him stiffen. "Kisame... my ultimate loyalty is to Konoha. But this isn't all just an act. I know I shouldn't, but I like those guys. And I liked you too, before you started playing the interrogator."

"That's what has me confused," his frown deepened into an ugly grimace. "Why you would actually _like_ us. We're criminals, we're your enemy, and we all have a... unique look," he hesitated.

"Is _that_ what this is about?" comprehension dawned on her. "I thought we'd already been over this. I come from a village of weirdos. I've learnt not to judge by appearance. Besides, you guys aren't that bad."

He raised a sarcastic brow at her, humour leaking back into his expression.

"What, you don't believe me?" she challenged.

"Honestly? No," he snorted. "You don't have to be polite."

She pouted at that. "I'm not lying."

"Prove it."

"Fine."

"... So?"

"Well... who should I do first?"

Shock overcame his features. "...What?"

"I'll list their attractive qualities. Who should I start with?"

"Oh, right," he cleared his throat awkwardly, feeling like an idiot. "Ah, Kakuzu."

"I love his eyes, the contrast of his skin and hair. His crazy mop of a haircut, as well. He's also got this devilish little sarcastic grin," she blushed a little just by recalling it. "He can also be a real gentleman when he wants to be."

Kisame choked. "Kakuzu? A gentleman?"

"Yeah," she said defensively.

"Alright. Now Zetsu," he challenged her.

"Well, aside from the obvious colour difference, his face is completely symmetrical. He's got a fairly flat, smooth face, but a defined nose. His hair's all soft and choppy, and it reminds me of grass, and he's got nice hands," she shrugged. "The way he acts... it's kind of like a kid at times. He gets so excited over the strangest things... He's just cute altogether."

She trailed off. "You want me to do you now?" she asked, grinning cheekily.

"Aa... sure," he agreed, a little uncomfortable, but curious about what she'd come up with.

"Well, you're well-built, obviously. You've got a strong manly jaw line, defined cheeks, and exotic eyes." She moved closer to him, and brushed her fingers over his cheek. You've got a broad face and nose, to match your shoulders. You're perfectly proportionate. Not to mention you've got that whole gravity defying hair thing going on that says "I'm cooler than you". In fact, I'd say you're pretty hot, when you get past the whole "you look like a shark" thing."

He laughed a little at that.

"And there's something else I like about you. You laugh and grin a lot. It makes you seem friendlier. Not like interrogator-Kisame," she smiled at him again.

"Thanks, kid," he ruffled her hair. "That's gotta be the best description I've heard of myself yet."

"So, I've done you. What about me?" she asked cheekily.

"That wasn't the deal," he shook his head stubbornly.

"Come on, it's only fair," she poked him in the ribs. "Pleeease..."

"Heh. Alright," he gave in, and they sat side by side on his bed.

"Well, you're cute, I'll give you that. You could easily be a geisha," he admitted, his cheeks tinging purple. "You're a good story teller. You're understanding, empathetic, intelligent, a skilled medic and ninja, from what I've heard. But you're a damn flirt."

"I am not!" she protested.

"You've got half of Akatsuki wrapped around your finger," he accused.

"I do not!" she protested again, affronted at the allegation.

"Tch. Maybe you just don't see it. But to everyone else it looks like you're leading them along."

She frowned. So he still thought that.

**'Well, it is kind of true...'**

'Shut up.'

"I've made it very clear to all of them I don't want that sort of relationship with anyone. They each just seem to want to prove me wrong," she huffed. "It's not _my _fault."

"Hmm," he watched her pout, thoughtfully. "Perhaps not."

Sakura relaxed at that, although she started to feel a little depressed. She didn't want to become like Ino...

"Kisame..." she spoke after a moment. "Do you really think I act like a flirt?"

"I think you act far too open, emotionally," he admitted. "It makes you accessible."

"...Oh," she considered it. "I'd never thought about it like that. It's just who I am."

"I should give you more credit. You at least try to set people straight when they get the wrong idea," he thought back to the disturbing 'friendship talk' she'd had with Zetsu.

"...Kisame, I hope you don't mind me changing the subject, but can I ask you something?" she started awkwardly, continuing at his shrug. "What's the deal with Tobi?"

"He's an idiot," was the simple reply.

**'So he's underestimating him as well.'**

'Should we warn him?'

**'We could at least share our thoughts. It wouldn't hurt to have an extra pair of eyes watching him.'**

"I don't trust him," she admitted, watching Kisame for any reaction. All she got was a raised eyebrow. "He's hiding something."

"He acts like that all the time," the blue man shrugged. "I wouldn't be too worried about him, so long as you're not fighting him. I hear he completely changes on the battlefield."

"I think there's more to it than that..." she bit her lip, nervously. 'Should I even be trusting him?' "My first impression of him... He acts that way to make others underestimate him. And you're all doing it. Not to mention he keeps everything covered – every _inch_ of skin. He's hiding something."

Now he was watching her keenly.

"You seemed to underestimate him too, from the way you were acting," he accused.

"I didn't want him to know I was onto him..." she started to get uncomfortable under his keen gaze.

"Hmm... Well, I'll keep a closer eye on him for now," he leaned back and rested against the wall.

They fell into silence for a while, neither really wanting to break it, until...

"You know, you should really be a little nicer to Itachi," Kisame chided her.

"He betrayed my village. That doesn't warrant niceties," she pouted.

"You don't know anything about his situation, so you shouldn't judge him for it," he frowned. "Not until you've heard it from his point of view."

"He _slaughtered_ his whole clan. He ruined Sasuke's life and messed with his head so much he ran off to join Orochimaru," she stared at him in disgust. "How can that be right from _any_ point of view."

"It doesn't have to be _right,_"he argued back. "Alot of things ninja do aren't 'right' by many people's reasonings. But Sasuke made his own decisions, and you can't blame Itachi for him joining Orochimaru. I really doubt that's what he had in mind for his little brother anyway."

"What, he told you this?" Sakura shot him a doubtful look.

"No, but I've worked with him for years. I know how he works," he raised his eyebrows at her. "You could probably make accurate assumptions about your teammates."

Once again they fell into silence again.

**'There's NO way we're forgiving that bastard Uchiha for what he did to Sasuke-kun,' **Inner Sakura fumed indignantly. **'He's a damn traitor.'**

'Sasuke betrayed us too. More-so than Itachi. We've never even had anything to do with him.'

**'You CAN'T be serious!'**

'We promised ourselves to get over Sasuke. He made his choice.'

**'But-but if he saw us socializing with his _brother-_'**

'It shouldn't affect us either way. What happened to your attachment to Kakuzu?'

**'...'**

'I think we should take Kisame's advice. He might be trying to tell us something.'

**'Or trick us into healing the bastard.'**

'We don't _have _to heal him. He's our bargaining chip for Akatsuki to strike up a deal with Konoha and Suna.'

**'As if they'd ever keep to it.'**

'Still, it might bring us closer to taking them down. Either way, learning more about the Uchiha couldn't hurt.'

**'...I still don't like it. But do what you want,' **her alter ego sulked.

The kunoichi glanced at Kisame, who still seemed deep in thought.

"I'll endeavor to be more pleasant to Itachi," she stated, looking ahead again to avoid eye contact.

He blinked in surprise, and turned to her, a grin covering his features once again.

"And what about Sasuke-kun, hmm?" he nosed.

"Itachi betrayed Konoha. _Sasuke _betrayed _me,_" she scowled.

"I've only met him a couple of times," Kisame spoke, getting her attention immediately. "He seemed like a self-absorbed, arrogant little bastard."

"He wasn't always like that," she sighed. "He changed once Orochimaru marked him. Now I don't think there's anything left of who he once was."

Kisame hesitated, before patting her back awkwardly. He hadn't been in situations like this often. Or ever, really.

"You deserve better," he said, making her look up in surprise. "You're a good girl, Sakura-chan."

"...Thanks, I guess," she replied, just as awkwardly.

**'What the hell?'**

'Shut up, he's just trying to be nice.'

"You're not so bad yourself, Kisame-kun."

"'Kun', huh?" he laughed. "You sure you're not trying to seduce me?"

"Would you prefer I call you Kisame-koi?" she glowered at him, making him laugh.

"Now that's a little more original than 'Gills'," he grinned at her.

"Kisame-koi it is."

"Hey, I never said you could actually call me that!"

"Too late," she smirked.

"It's getting late. Let's catch some sleep," he sulked, not liking his new nickname.

"Sure thing," she said, getting into her sleeping bag. "Good night Kisa-koi."

He let out an annoyed groan in response.

--

Yeah, I'm making Kisame go a little slower, as I think it IS a bit suspicious if they ALL get sucked in by a pretty face. I think they all have their ulterior motives when it comes to Sakura as well though... Let's find out what they are.... O.o


End file.
